Daughters of Arraweelo: Stories of Somali Women

by Ayaan Adan

Dakota County Library paperback 220 pages plus glossary

Published: 2022

Genre: Non-fiction, personal stories

I checked this out on behalf of my sister to prepare for the author's visit at a meeting for her work. Being a curious individual, I wanted to read the book too. I've not yet finished it, but it is interesting to read about these people's experiences and perspectives. It was also interesting to listen to the author yesterday. 

 

This collection of stories helps me better understand Somali women - both their cultural identity and the individual human beings who sometimes appear as "other" to me and my experience. Most of the stories I've read so far are about women in their 20s. I'm eager to get to the stories from older women. No matter the culture, sometimes age brings a different perspective. It was also interesting to me to learn that Minnesota has the largest population of Somali people in the United States.

Some of the women used their real names and some used pseudonyms to protect their identity. One woman talked about her experience in a university class that was very divisive. 

People didn't care about the required readings, and they weren't interested in constructive dialogue. Instead, everyone wanted to be right, all the time. They wanted the story of a battle to regale their friends or followers with, always exaggerated and without a modicum of self-awareness. Students came into the class with the baggage of their traumas or experiences and didn't shy away from projecting, generalizing, and breaking the basic rules of social agreements. Things like not assuming intention, giving others a chance to speak, and generally being kind. This class was a no-man's-land. Rule and order had no meaning here. It made for both an exciting and an exhausting hour. (pg 31)

I wonder what the professor's goal was. This doesn't seem like a very effective way to educate.

 

I loved the section where "Habon Hirsi" talked about her experiences and feelings wearing a hijab (head, hair, and chest covering), a jilbaab (full length cloak), and a khamaar (head scarf). (I really, really appreciated the glossary and consulted it often.) When she wore the khamaar and went shopping for clothing, she suddenly was confronted with body image issues that hadn't been a problem for her before. "In hindsight, I came to appreciate hijab for how it protected me from society and myself." (page 43)

Another woman wrote about gender roles and frustration.

Growing up, I hated how strict my parents were with my sisters and me, while they were so easygoing with my brothers. I started cleaning around fifth or sixth grade. Cleaning and cooking are absolutely necessary life skills; I have no problem doing them. The issue for me was cleaning up after grown men. Do they not have hands? The unfairness just creates resentment and anger. If I asked about why they didn't help out around the house, I was told to mind my business. It was so frustrating. They were just as capable. And they were smug about it. Like they had one up on me because I'm a girl. They laughed about it. (page 51)

That would have sent me over the edge! My dad had some of that attitude, especially after we visited relatives in Canada. Women were supposed to serve and be servile; men were supposed to sit back and enjoy. Arg!

This part really struck me. In writing about *why* so many Somalis have left their home country and come to the U.S., she writes, "If it was safe, I know we would've stayed. Nobody really wants to leave home unless they have to." (page 86). With what's happening in Ukraine right now, these words really ring true. I believe most people would rather stay in their home country. The extended family, the culture, the landscape, the feeling of being home. . . Many of the women that Adan interviewed talked about Somalia being home even though they've spent the majority of their lives in Minnesota. It makes me sad that there's so much violence in the world. Most Americans are oblivious to how easy life is for us here.

I hope to read the rest of the stories, but time is of the essence!

I blogged the above on 3.31.22 then I finished the book and emailed the additions below on 4.5.22 from Louise's house.

Page 98: "Every Somali girl knows the eldest daughter's burden. . . . It's often a thankless and invisible job, but behind every household there's usually at least one daughter manning the fort."

 

This came up over and over again. It makes me glad to be a youngest in my family and not part of this culture. That seems like a lot of pressure.

 

Page 107: "I know I am an American, legally and by geography,but it's hard to identify that way."

 

 

I don't know what else I wanted to write about this, but it caught my attention. I think not fitting in is something all of us experience from time to time in life, but it would be hard to deal with this kind of identity issue.

 

Page 113: "The biggest challenge I faced in school was the lowered expectations of my teachers and administrators. Because I was an immigrant kid, they expected me to fail.

 

 

This is heart-breaking to me. I wonder if there are times that I lowered my expectations for students (for whatever reason) instead of expecting them to rise to a learning occasion. 

Page 122: "I grew up with the melting pot analogy and eventually the salad bowl.To me, assimilating is like taking  beautiful filet mignon and mushing it up to ground beef in order to make meat loaf. Yes, technically it's still there, but was it worth it? The filet was more valuable as itself,before being churned through this machine."

 

 

"The melting pot" analogy has been revised when talking about immigrants in America, but so many of us learned this that it seems "right." Also, the tossed salad idea . . . analogies can be helpful or they can be hurtful. We're talking about human beings, personal identity, and cultural identity. It's more complex than a quick word picture.

 

Page 129: Qorsho Hassan - TOTY2020 - Mrs. Fulmer (positive 4th grade memory) 129 . . . this whole chapter! impact of educators - for good or for ill

 

Page 139: "When White teachers teach anti-racism, they are praised and recognized.When a Black teacher teaches antiracism, that is seen as a threat and dangerous. Is it because people hate the message or is it because it suddenly becomes dangerous when a Black Somali Muslim woman says it?" 

 

 

I looked up Qorsho Hassan after reading this chapter. What an amazing, articulate woman. I'm so sorry that she experienced such backlash after winning Teacher of the Year. She sounds like an extraordinary educator.

 

Page 140: "If you're not actively anti-racist, then being  a teacher is not for you. Students need more from their teachers than passive non-racists.Fight for your students, or get out of the way for those of us who will."

 

 

Those are strong words, but her argument makes sense.

 

Page 149  - hearing our elders' stories . . . yes. I wish I had recorded more of my parents' stories when I had the opportunity.

 

Page 160: "I've had the privilege of attending school in different countries. Out of all the places, Dubai was definitely the most comprehensive and rigorous. In the States,I kept thinking, This can't be learning, it's too easy, where's the catch?" 

 

Ouch! This makes me sad, but I'm not shocked. I feel as though educators have gotten tired of fighting angry parents and disobedient, disrespectful students.

 

pg 163 school counselor - I think I screen shotted this page . . . but too much time has elapsed. Not sure what I wanted to say.