by Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham
Scott County Library hardcover 430 pages
genre: autobiography
I have long enjoyed SCC's music. I remember hearing about the accident when his teenage son accidentally hit and killed his little girl in their driveway at home. How does a strong Christian get through the pain of that? When I saw this book, I knew I wanted to read it and learn more about his journey. What an amazing story!
Filled with lots of photographs, SCC shares about his childhood, music, struggles, and faith. One thing I didn't know about him (since I don't go to concerts) is that he is very talkative! The book gets a little long-winded, but since I am cut of the same cloth, verbosity doesn't put me off. I truly enjoyed reading this story of his life.
I marked a LOT of passages and there were many more I didn't mark that impressed me. At times (especially the last quarter of the book), I had to wipe tears from my eyes just so that I could continue reading.
Page 48 - in his childhood, their family agreed to host a layman, Dr. Baird, who was in town for a revival. What a cool experience! And how life-changing for the Chapman family!
"It turned out that a layman's revival did not feature a 'professional evangelist' but centered around the personal stories presented by a group . . . the laymen simply shared their own experiences of putting their faith in Jesus Christ and then stayed around to talk, answer questions, and pray with anyone wishing to trust Christ with his or her life. It was a deeply spiritual yet very natural, low-key presentation . . . Dr. Baird was not a theologian or a preacher; he was a dentist."
Page 65 - I love this! It makes me think of legacy and how I want to be faithful to Jesus and shine His light in the world. It also makes me think of Delta (I can't remember her last name) in junior high. She seemed alien to me! But I knew she had strong faith and strong morals, without her being self-righteous.
"Years later, at class reunions, some former classmates told me, 'We always knew where you stood as a Christian, and that made you kind of uncool, but we respected you.'"
Page 84 - His dad's insistence on practicing is admirable.
"'If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!' And the fact that we were just singing on a Sunday morning in our little church was never a reason for anything less than a stellar performance. 'If we're gonna do something for the Lord, it needs to be done with excellence.'"
Page 107 - When SCC and Mary Beth were dating and had a makeout session that caused him to apologize to her and they had a conversation about saving themselves for marriage . . . powerful.
Page 121 - "I finally realized there was more going on than what met the eye. We were in an invisible but very real spiritual battle. Satan hates marriage. He loves romance and sexual desire because he tries to twist them for his purposes. Marriage, however, is a symbolic picture of our relationship with Jesus. That's why God is so pro-marriage, and that is why the enemy works so hard to destroy marriages."
Page 188 - "'You, as a husband, are responsible for the emotional well-being of your wife.' Whether or not Dr. Dobson actually said that I'm not sure, but that's the message I heard. To me, that meant if my wife was not doing well, it was my fault. Her emotional health was my responsibility as her husband. If she was broken, I had to fix whatever had caused it. I had no idea that fixing someone - even myself - was impossible."
As I read this, there were times I appreciated the challenge in being both candid and respectful. I wonder what his wife's feedback was on this . . . he doesn't shy away from admitting his mistakes and flaws, but this focus on "fixing" people, relationships, etc. persists throughout the entire book. In fact, the next page I marked was 195, where they are visiting with a counselor.
"I still felt a heavy weight of responsibility to fix what part of this brokenness was my doing, and I was sure much of it was. Maybe we just needed to pray and read the Bible more and try harder."
Page 227 - I'll miss the context of this without including the entire interaction, but I love how God uses us in our faithfulness. SCC was "ambushed" by a Howard Stern employee and gave the best testimony he could for Jesus, but was mocked as a Christian. He was a "fool for Christ" and kicked himself for not being more wise.
"But at least one husband started a fresh journey with his wife as a result of the encounter in which I felt I had failed to represent the Lord well. It was a poignant reminder of the truth: God never calls us to be successful; He calls us to be faithful."
Page 336 - When he was in the midst of deep despair, repeating God's promises over and over helped him survive. "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord. . . . " There truly is power in God's promises.
Page 337 - "She had asked Mary Beth on February 20, 'Does God really have a big, big house? I wanna go to God's big house. I wanna live with Jesus in His big house.' And I knew - I knew both intellectually and spiritually - that it was true. It was
all true. Maria was with Jesus."
Even re-reading this now to blog it makes me tear up. I want the people I love to have this same conviction and knowledge of life after death. What am I doing to share the Good News of eternal life?
Page 340- "It was all I could muster, but as I did, the light and the clarity came back. I sensed that we were on holy ground. God's act of drawing back the curtain just enough that I could peer into eternity, to catch a glimpse of His eternal perspective, was a gift He gave to help me survive. I could do nothing to make it open again; there was no magic formula."
Page 354 - "It wasn't that what I had done previously was insignificant; it was simply that my world had shifted on its axis and I viewed things through a different lens."
This notion of a dramatic change in life and world-view, aka a paradigm shift, is hard to comprehend until you experience it. I know that phrase bugged me (paradigm shift) until 2013, when my world changed dramatically. Reading this immediately made me think of my own world shifting on its axis.
Page 356 - "Many times I cried out like David in the psalms. I felt like I was wrestling with God. It wasn't a matter of trying to be 'spiritual' or simply saying the right things; it was survival."
Page 400 - "'Satan is screaming lies over us all day long. And God whispers the truth in a still, small voice. So often the voice we listen to most is the one we hear the loudest.'"
SCC is quoting / paraphrasing a friend of his, but this is so very true! I need to be careful to spend time drawing near to the Lord so that I can actually hear Him over the loud voice of the accuser!
Page 405 - Although I've not experienced the highs of SCC's fame or the lows of his loss of a beloved child, I definitely can relate to his dilemma about wanting to shine for Jesus but not fake the personal struggle. It's really hard to want to witness and bring people to the knowledge of Jesus, but to also want to be authentic and confess the struggles.
"I was at the place where I basically said, 'Okay, God, if that's what You want to do, to have us stand in front of the world as broken as we are, and maybe even have everything fall apart with everybody watching, then it's in Your hands. . . I can't imagine how that's a good thing, but I'm going to trust You with it.'"
Page 407-8 The letter from his adult daughter Emily was amazing!!!
"One of the best things, ironically, I believe that you gave me was your inability to fix it. Really, it was a kind and gentle introduction to a harsh world that eventually every child has to grow up in and out from under their parents' wings and cope with. If you could have fixed it all, why would I have needed to turn to God? You always led us to the throne of grace, especially when you couldn't fix it."
"And that, that is indeed a great gift, because on these really hard momma days, when I feel like I am failing, the enemy is throwing all his darts, . . . then somehow I have to raise kids and have hope to look for the kingdom coming in what can feel like a hellhole at times, I remember what you taught us. Maybe I can't fix it, but I know the One who can."
I love this book enough to want to buy it, but as I'm working on saving money AND decreasing clutter in my home, I'll just recommend it highly! (And appreciate public libraries.)
