by Janet Jaffe, Ph.D.; Martha Ourieff Diamond, Ph.D.; and David J. Diamond, Ph.D.
Great River Regional Library via Scott County Library, paperback 261 pages
genre: non-fiction, infertility
I read this on behalf of someone I care about very much. She suggested it to help me understand what she was going through. Although I can't "relate" to infertility (pregnant one month after my wedding at age 20 . . . three healthy children by the time I was 25), I completely understand personal pain and struggle. I'm glad I read it (and am already thinking that anyone struggling with infertility would already by horrified by my personal comment about pregnancies that happened quickly and easily . . . ). I'm going to leave that as part of my post, though, because it's true. I personally did not struggle with this issue at all.
Chapter 3 - The Losses of Infertility - this chapter really helped me to understand a little bit of how huge, painful, and challenging this issue can be. It affects so many aspects of a person's life! Identity, marriage, communication, emotions, finance . . . I marked a sentence on page 58 that really stood out. "Perhaps it's because our partner is a constant reminder of our loss, but it is ironic that the very person we need the most at this time turns out to be the person that we get angry and frustrated with, and can't stand to look at anymore." This dynamic is completely understandable, yet makes me so sad!
Page 75 deals with some of the "grandparent" generation and their relationships with adult children struggling with infertility. "Even when I try to be supportive, she rebuffs me, like I'm not good enough for her." So often, these miscommunications and challenges grow instead of resolving. I'm thinking hard about my own communication and my need to be a better listener.
I tagged a point of view on page 108 that resonates strongly with me! "Rather than thinking of infertility as if you entire self is flawed (both physically and emotionally), you need to view it as a part of your physical body that is not working correctly. If Fran had a broken arm or needed to wear glasses, would she still worry that her husband would no longer love her? Of course not, but because the effects of infertility are so pervasive, it is difficult to keep perspective so we question the very essence of who we are."
Communication! Page 146 had a great analogy ' "Consider your three-year-old nephew throwing a tantrum - he's communicating, but it's hard to figure out how to soothe his frustration while he's screaming. When your husband withdraws into silence, he is communicating, but you must guess what he is trying to say - is he angry? Sad? Tired? Depressed? Just quiet?" Communication is so important, but it doesn't always come naturally!
The second paragraph on page 159 . . . is one I want someone else to read and think about. . .
Page 189 has great advice for *any* issue that you aren't comfortable talking about! "And always know that if a question arises that you aren't willing to discuss, you can simply respond, 'That's off limits' or 'I don't want to talk about that.'" I've used that tactic! I like to be completely honest, but if someone asks me something I don't want to share, I just say so! It's very liberating to maintain complete honesty while not sharing that which you prefer not to share.
I loved the way the authors laid out different options on page 212. As part of a couple's "reproductive story," they ask questions to help them figure out what to do next. Here's one example: "Is having a biological child the most important? If so, then you might be willing to relinquish your wish to conceive 'naturally' and use IUIs or IVF, if it would mean that the baby carried your and your partner's genetic selves."
The authors are all doctors, but they are also all human beings who have personally struggled with infertility. They use a lot of patient stories and examples. This is a well-written book.
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
The Woman at the Well
by Dale Evans Rogers
Hennepin County Library hardcover 191 pages
(copyright 1970!)
genre: autobiography, Christian witness
I don't remember why I requested this book . . . a conversation with someone or a reference in something else I read. I vaguely knew who Dale Evans and Roy Rogers were, but am always curious to learn more. Born in 1912, Frances Octavia Smith eloped at age 14 and got divorced when she was just 16 (and her firstborn was six months old)!
She condenses much of her early life into the first few chapters so that she can focus on her life as a Christian. At times, I loved this book. At other times, I cringed. (Like when she referred to her daughter Robin as a "Mongoloid" . . . even if that's the terminology of the time, I actually had to search it online to ascertain that it referred to Down Syndrome.)
She was an entertainer all her life, and this paragraph on page 48 really caught my eye!
"I worked harder than hard, and things seemed to be OK until I turned down the invitation of a top executive . . . I never meant to insult him, but he took it as a personal affront . . . I had too much pride in accomplishment to buy my way. I did not want to become obligated to anyone, in any way, to further my career. I had promised myself that I would never get trapped in such an involvement. I have always been infuriated with men who used their high position to acquire the scalps of hapless and heedless women. This was one area where I stuck to my guns, and I have never regretted it."
Good for her! What a tough cookie!
I also loved this on page 84: "I am Baptist, Episcopalian, Methodist, Disciples of Christ, Presbyterian! I don't think of the Church as a building or as a denomination; it is a body of believers in Christ - in His birth and Person and ministry, in His Atonement, His Resurrection, His Coming Again to receive us unto Himself. Denominations are fellowships. The Church is His body, and it has many members - not all of which function in exactly the same way. Who is to say that one denomination (or function) is 100 percent right and another 100 percent wrong? God is the judge of all that."
I am so glad that God judges and knows our hearts!
Page 113 horrified me . . . I understand that some people lack the idea of boundaries and compassion with celebrities . . . but to have a carload of fans and autograph seekers show up at her dad's FUNERAL to ask for autographs!?!? That is just horrifying.
That said, I love that she included some photos. They really added to the book. It would have been nice to see even more! (Thanks to Google, I got to see more pictures.)
Page 136-146 was a bit too much for me. I liked an early statement: "It was God who made the races, not man. And nowhere do we hear God saying that He prefers any one race to another." She talks about pride (as in thinking you're better than someone with a different skin color) as a sin and a stench in God's nostrils.
But then she basically says that she's against "intermarriage" of people of different races. As she's going on and on about race and animals and interbreeding, it just gets messy and unpleasant. "Basically I am opposed to such intermarriage, because I know that it seldom works, and that it can have a terrible effect upon the children of such a marriage. And basically I believe that each race has its own beauty and its particular value in God's creation. Would we like our pretty bouquets of many-colored flowers, if they were all red roses, or all yellow, or all white roses?"
She does explain that love is the key component for dealing with differences and conflict, but this chapter went on way too long and was too jarring (especially considering her pride in having adopted two children who were clearly of different ancestry . . . who according to her, should only be allowed to marry men of similar skin color to them?)
There were many places throughout the book where I silently cheered her for sharing her faith and trust in Jesus so boldly! (She died in 2001 at age 88.) There were many great lessons in her life story about relying on the Lord and boldly sharing his love.
"I have also learned that Satan loves nothing better than a chance to split every Christian fellowship on the face of the earth; he loves to divide and conquer, and we should think twice before helping him do that."
Amen! Unity, love, and faith. The threads of her story are strongly woven.
Hennepin County Library hardcover 191 pages
(copyright 1970!)
genre: autobiography, Christian witness
I don't remember why I requested this book . . . a conversation with someone or a reference in something else I read. I vaguely knew who Dale Evans and Roy Rogers were, but am always curious to learn more. Born in 1912, Frances Octavia Smith eloped at age 14 and got divorced when she was just 16 (and her firstborn was six months old)!
She condenses much of her early life into the first few chapters so that she can focus on her life as a Christian. At times, I loved this book. At other times, I cringed. (Like when she referred to her daughter Robin as a "Mongoloid" . . . even if that's the terminology of the time, I actually had to search it online to ascertain that it referred to Down Syndrome.)
She was an entertainer all her life, and this paragraph on page 48 really caught my eye!
"I worked harder than hard, and things seemed to be OK until I turned down the invitation of a top executive . . . I never meant to insult him, but he took it as a personal affront . . . I had too much pride in accomplishment to buy my way. I did not want to become obligated to anyone, in any way, to further my career. I had promised myself that I would never get trapped in such an involvement. I have always been infuriated with men who used their high position to acquire the scalps of hapless and heedless women. This was one area where I stuck to my guns, and I have never regretted it."
Good for her! What a tough cookie!
I also loved this on page 84: "I am Baptist, Episcopalian, Methodist, Disciples of Christ, Presbyterian! I don't think of the Church as a building or as a denomination; it is a body of believers in Christ - in His birth and Person and ministry, in His Atonement, His Resurrection, His Coming Again to receive us unto Himself. Denominations are fellowships. The Church is His body, and it has many members - not all of which function in exactly the same way. Who is to say that one denomination (or function) is 100 percent right and another 100 percent wrong? God is the judge of all that."
I am so glad that God judges and knows our hearts!
Page 113 horrified me . . . I understand that some people lack the idea of boundaries and compassion with celebrities . . . but to have a carload of fans and autograph seekers show up at her dad's FUNERAL to ask for autographs!?!? That is just horrifying.
That said, I love that she included some photos. They really added to the book. It would have been nice to see even more! (Thanks to Google, I got to see more pictures.)
Page 136-146 was a bit too much for me. I liked an early statement: "It was God who made the races, not man. And nowhere do we hear God saying that He prefers any one race to another." She talks about pride (as in thinking you're better than someone with a different skin color) as a sin and a stench in God's nostrils.
But then she basically says that she's against "intermarriage" of people of different races. As she's going on and on about race and animals and interbreeding, it just gets messy and unpleasant. "Basically I am opposed to such intermarriage, because I know that it seldom works, and that it can have a terrible effect upon the children of such a marriage. And basically I believe that each race has its own beauty and its particular value in God's creation. Would we like our pretty bouquets of many-colored flowers, if they were all red roses, or all yellow, or all white roses?"
She does explain that love is the key component for dealing with differences and conflict, but this chapter went on way too long and was too jarring (especially considering her pride in having adopted two children who were clearly of different ancestry . . . who according to her, should only be allowed to marry men of similar skin color to them?)
There were many places throughout the book where I silently cheered her for sharing her faith and trust in Jesus so boldly! (She died in 2001 at age 88.) There were many great lessons in her life story about relying on the Lord and boldly sharing his love.
"I have also learned that Satan loves nothing better than a chance to split every Christian fellowship on the face of the earth; he loves to divide and conquer, and we should think twice before helping him do that."
Amen! Unity, love, and faith. The threads of her story are strongly woven.
Monday, May 21, 2018
The Watsons Go to Birmingham - 1963
by Christopher Paul Curtis
Scott County Library audiobook 4 CDs
read by Levar Burton
genre: YA historical fiction
I'm kind of shocked that I don't have an entry for this book already in my blog. I just checked and I started blogging about books in 2007. That means I read this well over a decade ago!
I didn't realize until I started typing this entry that the vocal work was by Levar Burton. I love him! He did an excellent job, of course.
I was struck by the first part of the story not being quite as funny as I had remembered it. (Kenny's brother Byron scraping the ice off the car was as I remembered, though.) I felt much more sadness this time around, especially the last part in Birmingham.
The TruTone record player in the car - this blows me away! What a weird concept - to have a record player in a car!
*** SPOILERS AHEAD! STOP READING HERE IF YOU'VE NOT READ THE BOOK.
The humor mixed with the seriousness really shifted for me when Kenny went into the pond and the "Wool Pooh" (whirlpool) got him. I wasn't surprised that Byron came to the rescue, but I had forgotten many of the details of the scene (and the fact that they didn't tell anyone what happened).
The bombing scene and Kenny's subsequent withdrawl were so sad! Hiding behind the couch, not interacting with anyone, . . . made the scene when Byron got him into the bathroom to look in the mirror all the more poignant. "How's it fair?" Indeed, there was nothing fair for the children who died in Sunday school that morning.
Christopher Paul Curtis is an amazing author and this is one of my favorite middle school historical fiction books. It is funny, sad, and realistic.
Scott County Library audiobook 4 CDs
read by Levar Burton
genre: YA historical fiction
I'm kind of shocked that I don't have an entry for this book already in my blog. I just checked and I started blogging about books in 2007. That means I read this well over a decade ago!
I didn't realize until I started typing this entry that the vocal work was by Levar Burton. I love him! He did an excellent job, of course.
I was struck by the first part of the story not being quite as funny as I had remembered it. (Kenny's brother Byron scraping the ice off the car was as I remembered, though.) I felt much more sadness this time around, especially the last part in Birmingham.
The TruTone record player in the car - this blows me away! What a weird concept - to have a record player in a car!
*** SPOILERS AHEAD! STOP READING HERE IF YOU'VE NOT READ THE BOOK.
The humor mixed with the seriousness really shifted for me when Kenny went into the pond and the "Wool Pooh" (whirlpool) got him. I wasn't surprised that Byron came to the rescue, but I had forgotten many of the details of the scene (and the fact that they didn't tell anyone what happened).
The bombing scene and Kenny's subsequent withdrawl were so sad! Hiding behind the couch, not interacting with anyone, . . . made the scene when Byron got him into the bathroom to look in the mirror all the more poignant. "How's it fair?" Indeed, there was nothing fair for the children who died in Sunday school that morning.
Christopher Paul Curtis is an amazing author and this is one of my favorite middle school historical fiction books. It is funny, sad, and realistic.
Monday, May 14, 2018
Lady Jayne Disappears
by Joanna Davidson Politano
Hennepin County Library paperback 395 pages
genre: Christian historical fiction
I read our monthly book club title two weeks before discussion! I can't believe I've been unfinished the last two months.
The first third of this book seemed a bit too trite and formulaic to me. This is a debut novel, so I didn't get too hung up on it. But then it actually caught my curiosity and had a few surprises in store. I'm eager to read her next book, which will be out this summer.
Aurelie Harcourt is a sweet twenty-something who has lived her entire life in debtor's prison with her father. She loves the Lord and is a kind person who ministers to others. When her father dies, she goes to live with her father's wealthy family.
Some questions I had as I read (which were mostly resolved):
Why didn't her father use the royalties from his writing to get them out of debtor's prison?
How could he raise a child for two decades in a prison?!? (And why?)
What is the deal with Lady Jayne and why won't anyone talk about her?
Does Glenna know about her husband's past?
There were more, but I don't remember them all. I liked the mysteries woven into the story. I started suspecting things around every corner. Many twists that I anticipated didn't happen! Finding out the truth about Kendrick surprised me.
Page 76 - "It's always a choice, Aura Rose. Happiness is always a choice." Her father's wise words came back to me. I love right before this, when she recalled Scripture that helped strengthen her!
Page 120 - ". . . he would set about righting the lies she believed about herself and her worth. How great was God to use husbands so often in that task." I often praise God for letting me experience overwhelming love via Louie! It's wonderful to think that the Lord loves me even more than my spouse does! I am so blessed.
Page 322 - "Standing in place, I bowed my head and wordlessly connected my soul to God. I remained in this posture, submissive and trusting, breathing slowly. Peace did not come. Instead, I felt an energy firing through my chest, compelling me to move, to act. Go. Go find her." I think Aurelie is one of the absolute best faith-filled heroines in the stories we've ever read! And her cousin Juliette . . . a great counterpoint.
Page 348 - I liked the carriage scene between Aunt Eudora and Aurelie. It was beautiful.
Hennepin County Library paperback 395 pages
genre: Christian historical fiction
I read our monthly book club title two weeks before discussion! I can't believe I've been unfinished the last two months.
The first third of this book seemed a bit too trite and formulaic to me. This is a debut novel, so I didn't get too hung up on it. But then it actually caught my curiosity and had a few surprises in store. I'm eager to read her next book, which will be out this summer.
Aurelie Harcourt is a sweet twenty-something who has lived her entire life in debtor's prison with her father. She loves the Lord and is a kind person who ministers to others. When her father dies, she goes to live with her father's wealthy family.
Some questions I had as I read (which were mostly resolved):
Why didn't her father use the royalties from his writing to get them out of debtor's prison?
How could he raise a child for two decades in a prison?!? (And why?)
What is the deal with Lady Jayne and why won't anyone talk about her?
Does Glenna know about her husband's past?
There were more, but I don't remember them all. I liked the mysteries woven into the story. I started suspecting things around every corner. Many twists that I anticipated didn't happen! Finding out the truth about Kendrick surprised me.
Page 76 - "It's always a choice, Aura Rose. Happiness is always a choice." Her father's wise words came back to me. I love right before this, when she recalled Scripture that helped strengthen her!
Page 120 - ". . . he would set about righting the lies she believed about herself and her worth. How great was God to use husbands so often in that task." I often praise God for letting me experience overwhelming love via Louie! It's wonderful to think that the Lord loves me even more than my spouse does! I am so blessed.
Page 322 - "Standing in place, I bowed my head and wordlessly connected my soul to God. I remained in this posture, submissive and trusting, breathing slowly. Peace did not come. Instead, I felt an energy firing through my chest, compelling me to move, to act. Go. Go find her." I think Aurelie is one of the absolute best faith-filled heroines in the stories we've ever read! And her cousin Juliette . . . a great counterpoint.
Page 348 - I liked the carriage scene between Aunt Eudora and Aurelie. It was beautiful.
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
by Cheryl Strayed
Scott County Library audiobook 11CDs
read by Bernadette Dunne
genre: memoir
I only knew about this story because of the movie with Reese Witherspoon. I'm still undecided about my reaction to it . . . Here are some of my car jottings:
Scott County Library audiobook 11CDs
read by Bernadette Dunne
genre: memoir
I only knew about this story because of the movie with Reese Witherspoon. I'm still undecided about my reaction to it . . . Here are some of my car jottings:
- not believing in God, not wanting mercy, etc. pretty adamant
- losing mom . . . cancer and logic, mother love
- her theology is so messed up!
- grief / after mom's death, dreams of killing her . . . morbid
- Ugh! Sleeping around as a "healing process"?!?!
- lifestyle choices . . . sex, heroin, etc.
- Ugh! "Abortion - no question." How does she live with herself?
- unleaded gas instead of white gas in a cook stove!
- I like Albert - "50-something Christian from Georgia - Eagle Scout"
- PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) / Sierra Nevada . . . I'm curious to learn more!
- "Monster" - her huge, heavy backpack
- horse Lady / Eddie agreeing to put her down / Cheryl finding her emaciated and shivering on Christmas Eve. This scene was so horrible! I'm not a huge horse lover, but this was hard to listen to!
- She is a very talented writer! I love how she wove her back story into the trail experience. It was very natural and not "flashback" seeming.
- REI boots, Snapple . . . I wonder if she got any attention or appreciation from them after this book was published!
- I loved the llama, the old woman, and Kyle! What a delightful scene.
- It was published in 2012, but she walked the trail in the 1990s. I was shocked at how little she paid for things, even twenty some years ago.
The Outsiders
by S.E. Hinton
personal copy, paperback 156 pages
genre: YA realistic fiction
I knew I was "teaching" this for seventh grade language arts and wanted to be prepared. I hadn't read this in about (or over?) thirty years! It was a much quicker read than I remembered. And for some reason, I thought that either Ponyboy or Sodapop died in the story . . . so clearly I needed to re-read it to actually remember the story correctly.
It wasn't as well-written as I remembered it to be, but I went online to check the veracity of a tag on my copy: "a revealing novel about teenagers - by a teenager." I knew that Susan Hinton published as "S.E." because of her gender and publishers' belief that boys wouldn't write a book by a girl. But I didn't know that she was only 15 when she wrote it and 17 when it was published! That's amazing!
Even though it was written several decades ago, the story still seems to resonate for teenagers. Interesting.
personal copy, paperback 156 pages
genre: YA realistic fiction
I knew I was "teaching" this for seventh grade language arts and wanted to be prepared. I hadn't read this in about (or over?) thirty years! It was a much quicker read than I remembered. And for some reason, I thought that either Ponyboy or Sodapop died in the story . . . so clearly I needed to re-read it to actually remember the story correctly.
It wasn't as well-written as I remembered it to be, but I went online to check the veracity of a tag on my copy: "a revealing novel about teenagers - by a teenager." I knew that Susan Hinton published as "S.E." because of her gender and publishers' belief that boys wouldn't write a book by a girl. But I didn't know that she was only 15 when she wrote it and 17 when it was published! That's amazing!
Even though it was written several decades ago, the story still seems to resonate for teenagers. Interesting.
The Mark of the Golden Dragon
by L.A. Meyer
Scott County Library hardcover 378 pages
genre: YA historical adventure fiction
Another Jacky Faber book. This one was a bit more enjoyable than the last few. She is trying to clear her name and Jaime's name. He thinks she is dead and goes off the rails, becoming the Black Highwayman and getting revenge on the two men who he thinks responsible for Jacky's "death." She makes more amazing alliances and deals. I think it's good that this book was shorter and more focused.
Scott County Library hardcover 378 pages
genre: YA historical adventure fiction
Another Jacky Faber book. This one was a bit more enjoyable than the last few. She is trying to clear her name and Jaime's name. He thinks she is dead and goes off the rails, becoming the Black Highwayman and getting revenge on the two men who he thinks responsible for Jacky's "death." She makes more amazing alliances and deals. I think it's good that this book was shorter and more focused.
Until We Find Home
by Cathy Gohlke
Hennepin County Library hardcover 3 or 4 hundred pages
genre: Historical Christian fiction
This was a book club book that I didn't finish before discussion. Set in World War II, Claire is a super romantic (and pretty immature) American living in Paris. Part of the underground resistance, she helps five Jewish children escape. But when her "love" doesn't show up, she crosses to England with the children. Ending up at her aunt's home in the lakes country, there is intrigue, danger, romance, etc.
I liked the literary threads (neighbor Mrs. Heelis, aka Beatrix Potter; the Secret Garden; C. S. Lewis; etc.) I also liked little Gaston - he was a firecracker!
But the story was pretty lightweight. I didn't even mind the discussion and its inevitable "spoilers" because I just didn't care that much. It was fine but not a re-read or "must" recommend book.
Hennepin County Library hardcover 3 or 4 hundred pages
genre: Historical Christian fiction
This was a book club book that I didn't finish before discussion. Set in World War II, Claire is a super romantic (and pretty immature) American living in Paris. Part of the underground resistance, she helps five Jewish children escape. But when her "love" doesn't show up, she crosses to England with the children. Ending up at her aunt's home in the lakes country, there is intrigue, danger, romance, etc.
I liked the literary threads (neighbor Mrs. Heelis, aka Beatrix Potter; the Secret Garden; C. S. Lewis; etc.) I also liked little Gaston - he was a firecracker!
But the story was pretty lightweight. I didn't even mind the discussion and its inevitable "spoilers" because I just didn't care that much. It was fine but not a re-read or "must" recommend book.
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