by Evy Poumpouras
Hennepin County Library hardcover 299 pages
Published: 2020
Genre: Non-fiction advice
This was a really interesting book by a fascinating woman. Former Secret Service Agent Evy Poumpouras could probably have just written a memoir and had my attention. The self-help aspects were a little less intriguing for me. This woman has already had such an interesting life and she's still pretty young! (And gorgeous - her author pic is impressive.)
I put a lot of post-it notes in here, but it's been over a week since I finished the book . . . not my best mode for blogging, but I definitely enjoyed reading this.
Page 7 - Right away in the prologue, she's relating her experience in NYC on 9/11. Wow! This was a powerful way to start her story.
I prayed in Greek, as I'd been taught growing up in the Greek Orthodox Church. I kept my eyes open as the world around me split apart. I wanted to see death coming for me. I knew I had no choice in my death, but I could choose how I faced it. Even when I could no longer hear the sound of my own voice, even when my face and mouth filled with dust and ash, I kept my eyes open and prayed. As the tower collapsed above me, strange as it might sound, I felt a peculiar peace spreading through me.
Not peculiar at all! That's God in action, Evy. You should pray more, not just when you think you're going to die.
Page 11 (still prologue) - I like how she noticed the actions of others who were not first responders.
They helped because it was the only thing they could do. Because, without being told, they already knew that when it seems like the world is ending, being willing to help others is the antidote to fear.
I believe that most people prefer to do the right thing. I love seeing / hearing about people being kind, compassionate, helpful.
Page 14 - In direct contrast to that last note . . .
Fast-forward to today and we find ourselves facing new fears. Mass shootings, school shootings, and cyberattacks filter into our social media and news feeds. The world feels full of fear in a way that can immobilize and overwhelm us at a moment's notice.
Is there more fear or just more fear-mongering? As people want to exclude God and faith from their lives, are they just reaping what they've sown? I can't imagine how stressed I'd be without faith in Jesus and the power of God's Word. No thanks.
Page 36 - I really liked how she shared about her childhood and how that shaped her attitudes and career choices. This quotation sums up part of her life philosophy (in my mind).
I know fear keeps us alive, but I also know that fear can keep us from living.
She had also talked about our Fight, Flight, or Freeze responses. This is a really interesting book. She uses a lot of F-bombs, though.
Page 60-61. I decided to take a photo of this two-page spread. These are good questions to ask yourself. It's so easy to get sucked in to other people's "stuff."
Page 72 - This really hit home. It has come up a lot in our book club discussions in the context of God using our pain as a way for us to minister to others who are suffering. The author has a secular take on that idea.
When we can find meaning in our personal tragedies and use them as a way to enhance our lives, or the lives of others, we'll emerge stronger and more resilient.
There was more, but I'm already tired of blogging on this book!
Page 107 - Her advice was interesting, even if I enjoyed her personal stories more.
Predators primarily seek out those they perceive as weak. The ones they think will go down easy, who won't put up a fight. You know why? Because they don't want a fair fight. They want someone they can conquer. They are looking for an easy target. Don't give them one.
It breaks my heart when the most vulnerable people are hurt further. This advice is valuable, but it doesn't go far enough in helping people know how to be stronger.
Page 153 - Again, interesting.
Reading body language is about becoming an investigator of behavior. The body doesn't lie. In fact, regardless of a person's agenda, the body wants to tell the truth. Sometimes, no matter how much a person tries to remain composed and controlled, the body will signal when it's lying. Professional interrogators call this bleeding information, because information will leak from the body almost like an open wound.
She goes on to talk about posture, leg movement, etc. She has had such interesting life experiences!
Page 176 - I just wrote "Trump" on the post-it. She worked detail for three other presidents, but not #45.
Over-the-top denials are intended to be so emphatic and dramatic as to eliminate any trace of doubt from your mind. But remember, the truth is simple. When someone tells the truth, they tend to tell it directly and matter-of-factly.
The example she listed at the top of this section (subtitled "Emphatic Denial") are what made me think of our last president . . . especially "I categorically deny everything you just said."
Page 185 - This line made me think of the challenges in being an effective teacher!
But did you know that most people stop listening about three minutes into a presentation because their minds wander or they get bored. It's a challenge to hold people's attention for a long period of time. This is why connecting with your audience is just as important as knowing your facts.
She's actually worked as a teacher in her post-Secret Service life, so she knows a few things. :-)
Page 223 - I love her answer to the question, "How do I make someone respect me?"
"You can't." Respect is not something that can be forced or demanded. It's a gift. If someone wants to give it to you, they will. And if they don't, they won't. That's it. Yes, your words are your most powerful weapon. But when it comes to commanding respect, sometimes it's best to hold your silence and simply show the world who you are through what you do.
Page 242 - This was a post-it for me to check myself! It's in the section subtitled Keep Your Ego in Check. Yikes!
Have you ever been in a meeting when you could tell that the person was talking just to hear the sound of her own voice? Not only do they end up contributing nothing to the conversation, but it often ends up feeling like a waste of everyone's time. When people monopolize the conversation without adding anything of substance, it's a sign of insecurity. Don't be that person.
I think for me, it's more of a habit. I babble, whether or not I have something worthwhile to say. And I'm not a good listener. This is something I don't like about myself.
Page 254 - I loved this graphic and the description! Covid has definitely made "personal space" weirder, but this is a good way of explaining. (Another reason not to teach elementary school. They do NOT respect personal space very well!)
Page 262 - She really does have a lot of good, solid advice.
Don't let a bad five minutes in your day - a traffic incident, disagreement with a friend, anything - ruin your entire day or week. You have power in how you react to setbacks, and being able to move on is a skill worth cultivating.
Page 266 - I don't necessarily agree with her assessment of "mentoring," but she makes a good point.
These teaching points in life don't need to come only from those you consider admirable. You can learn just as much from an asshole as you can from a role model. Some people possess qualities you admire most while others show you what you should carefully avoid.
Page 281 - I love how Poumpouras closes her book by talking about the positive traits she gleaned from the men and women she worked for in the White House. They were all insightful and interesting. I marked this one about Hillary Clinton because it kind of surprised me.
Over the course of my career, I have never seen anyone take as much mistreatment as Mrs. Clinton endured in the public eye. . . . Her unwavering defiance is unlike anything I have ever known. When I am faced with ridicule, criticism, or judgment from others I think of her.
I actually checked out the author's webpage after reading the book. I'm glad I saw a review of this and chose to read it!
