All She Left Behind

by Jane Kirkpatrick
Carver County Library paperback 319 pages
genre: Christian historical fiction
* There are spoilers below! Stop after the page 141 note if you don't want the plot revealed.*

The discussion at book club last night was very interesting, but we didn't talk in depth about the book itself as much as the themes it raised: alcoholism, marriage, divorce, parenting, etc. I have a lot of post-its, but overall this was not a book that I really enjoyed deeply. I'm pretty sure it's my own attitude; Kirkpatrick is a lovely writer. She has clearly done an extensive amount of research, basing her book on actual people.

page 20 - "Justice and mercy both are required of us" - Jennie says to her husband as they're talking about people who end up in prison. Charles shoots her down, of course, and it's ironic in light of what his future holds.

page 27 - "Jennie didn't believe in coincidences, but rather accepted that a larger hand turns the world and humans were small parts within it." That made me think of the phrase "God-incidences" to observe how God can provide opportunities for us that seem happenstance but are actually very purposeful.

page 73 - "Charles has promised to help me with the love apples we've planted. Tomatoes, I believe they call them now." I've heard that expression "love apples" before, but this is one of those times that reading something in a novel made me search out more info. I love that!

page 78 - "'That Danish philosopher Kierkegaard said he'd give up wealth and power for the "passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possibilities."'" I should read more Kierkegaard (and/or talk with smarter people than myself) to dig into the meaning of this. We talked about it a little last night, but got off-track.

page 83 - When Jennie brings to mind "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we shall reap, if we do not lose heart," it almost seems out of place. Her husband is behaving erratically, has taken their child, and has stayed out all night. I get the encouragement to not lose heart, but how was she doing good? Feeding her son's hedgehog?

page 133 - "'I myself, do not do well with sick people. I so admire those who do.' . . . 'Meeting the needs of another is a gift not everyone has.' Jennie blushed but inhaled her words." When Henrietta (Elizabeth's and Josiah's daughter-in-law) made these observations, I love how she expressed them. I also love how this encouragement blessed Jennie. Encouragement is so important!

page 139 - "In that moment she knew that she would do whatever it took to stay alive, to be there for her son." Finally! I was glad Jennie fought back against the abusive addict Charles! I just wish she had been more transparent with her son instead of "protecting" him from the truth of how horrible his dad was. (Though again, we had a great conversation about this last night. Sometimes putting the child's well-being first means couching the truth in age-appropriate language.)

page 141 - "She couldn't tell him that his father had come back for money to feed his addiction. It wouldn't matter. Douglas' broken heart filtered the memory." Yeah. Kids get hurt no matter which way this falls out.

page 147 - "To ask to love and grieve at the same moment can only be accomplished with the strength of God's cradling." Her observations about the end of life and new life (Elizabeth's impending death and Baby Winifred) remind Jennie of her daughter who died at birth. God makes all the difference in the world!

Page 169 - Yuk. My post-it says "26 and 63? Just no." Again, we had a great discussion about this last night. I get that age gaps of this kind weren't that abnormal. I get that Josiah was an amazing man. But I still think a man marrying a woman almost young enough to be his GRANDdaughter is gross! (Though I appreciate the author's notes at the end and the fact that he ended up marrying a third time after Jennie died.)

page 177 - "Then we'll decide if it's worth the risk." "Every step forward is." . . . "My father once told me, a carriage is safest in the livery stable, but a carriage isn't built for that sedentary place. It's built to roll upon the roads to unknown places." "And on to unknown trails, making new ones." I love this conversation between Jennie and Josiah. It's so true - what is safest isn't always what's best, or even what's intended. I think of that with our faith. It's "safest" to keep it to ourselves and just carry the knowledge of salvation in our hearts . . . but that is not at all what God intends for us to do with the awesome gift!

page 223 - "She even expressed a word of thanks to Charles who had left her and again forgave him, forgiveness being a journey rather than a destination." There were so many times I really liked Jennie's attitude. This is one of them. As much pain as he inflicted on her, she was able to move on and reflect in a healthy way.

I love her friend Ariyah! I appreciate Jennie's kindness to the madam when they saw her in the milliner's shop. I like her brother George who built a distillery for her oils for her (and encouraged her). I like chapter 33 (starting on page 256) and all the conversation about guilt and forgiveness. Ariyah is helping Jennie after Nora's death. "Nicholas Rowe, the English writer. He said that guilt was 'the avenging fiend that follows us behind with whips and stings.' You've whipped yourself enough about Charles and Douglas and now dear little Nora. It's time you looked through a new lens." So much good stuff in this chapter! But I'm mostly glad for our discussion last night. What a great group of women!