by Peggy Orenstein
Hennepin County Library hardcover 236 pages plus endnotes, index, etc.
genre: non-fiction, sexuality
Wow. This was a hard read for me. It made me glad I don't have daughters and wonder how I can make a positive difference in the face of our current culture and "norms" . . . Sigh. It also makes me reflect on my own experiences, attitudes, etc.
This was on our summer reading list, and I would recommend it to parents, counselors, and others who care about teenage girls (and boys!) and their attitudes toward their own bodies. I'm more in the "prude" camp on the issue of girls and sex.
The first part I marked was page 28 - the section on Miley Cyrus and her "twerk" at the 2013 MTV music awards. For girls to see her as a "liberated" hero-type figure makes me sad. Her hypersexualized performances seem more like bondage than liberation to me. For girls to admire her and want to emulate her . . . just makes me sad.
Page 62 - Talking about sex ed . . . she makes some interesting points here. The male anatomy seems more "accessible" somehow. "Even the more comprehensive sex education classes stick with a woman's internal parts - uteri, tubes, ovaries. Those classic diagrams of a woman's reproductive system, the ones shaped like the head of a steer, blur into a gray Y between the legs, as if the vulva and the labia, let alone the clitoris, don't exist. Imagine not clueing a twelve-year-old boy into the existence of his penis! And whereas males' puberty is characterized by ejaculation, masturbation, and the emergence of a near-unstoppable sex drive, females' is defined by . . . periods." I am curious to talk to our personal wellness teacher about this. Girls should have solid information about their own bodies.
Page 77 - "Cashing in the V Card" - wow. Do girls really see virginity as something to get rid of before they go to college? This also makes me sad.
Page 112 - Not sure why I marked this. It's been a busy week.
Page 115 - Ugh. The part on frat houses and degradation of women (and women going along with it!) made me feel physically ill.
Page 181 - More puke-worthy info on sexual assault on college campuses. The Steubenville rape (and the guys' horrid comments, shooting video of it, etc.) are truly horrifying. And people who DEFEND the rapists as "good boys who made a mistake" make me so angry! It's horrible that young women get drunk and cannot stand up for themselves, but it's even more horrible that young men take advantage of them in such hurtful ways. I cannot imagine any of my sons doing this type of thing.
Also, guys commenting that this is "hilarious" scares me. That is so beyond immoral as to seem evil.
Notes I found in my car (added 10/30/16):
pg 185 "Don't tell girls not to drink; tell rapists not to rape."
pg 196 ". . . only perpetrators are responsible for assault, but assertiveness and self-advocacy are crucial defensive skills."
I need to finish pages 201-236 . . . but I'm not going to request the book from the library yet. I'm still trying to play catchup!
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