The Language of Flowers

by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
Hennepin County Library hardcover 308 pages
genre: realistic fiction
***There are definite spoiler alerts after the first paragraph!

Painful, beautiful, moving. I loved this book! Look on Amazon for a synopsis. I just want to jot a few notes before I get this back to the library. The author does a wonderful job of creating the story and weaving the past and present together. Sometimes it was a little confusing jumping back and forth, but for the most part, it was obvious if it was Victoria's childhood or adulthood.

page 29 - Victoria throws away the spoon after licking the peanut butter off it. This caught my attention - the sort of thing that frustrates me! Even though I know that kids who are neglected don't care about things like this . . . it still bugs me. Then on the next page, Elizabeth sends her back to the garden to retrieve it!

page 92 - Victoria says that Grant is "hard to forget." She has become so accustomed to isolating herself and needing no one that she is surprised that he has gotten under her skin. She can't help but think of him!

page 113 - As she is thinking of lying to her client Annemarie about the meaning of flowers, she realizes that she simply can't do it. "I had been loyal to nothing except the language of flowers. If I started lying about it, there would be nothing left in my life that was beautiful or true."

page 157 - When she drops the flowerpots on the ground and she and Grant kiss in the street. Mmm-hmm!

page 188 - It broke my heart when she went to Grant's house when he was gone and packed all her things. I wish she had confided in him and told him about her pregnancy!

page 195 - ". . . I wanted to believe in his vision of our life together. But over time we would both find my words meaningless. I would fail; it was the only possible outcome." Her brokenness and lack of self-worth was heart-breaking. And I know people who live like this, not believing in possibilities or having hope for the future.

page 213 - Her attitude about childbirth was amazing - "Women had given birth since the beginning of time." She seemed so matter-of-fact and accepting. And that's true, but it's also a major life event for most women!

page 225 - Marlena was so natural with the baby and cooking . . . I wish she had been better able to help Victoria learn to do the same. "Even though I wasn't doing anything but feeding and diapering and swaddling, there didn't seem to be space, mental or otherwise, for anything else."

page 234 - I wanted to be there for Victoria, to help her through her struggles with exhaustion, endless nursing, and hopelessness! Cina and Karen were horrified that she left a baby alone to go to the store. I think she absolutely had to go. She had to get away from the constant demands.

page 249 - "Every decision I'd ever made had led me here, and I wanted to take it all back, the hatred and the blame and the violence. I wanted to have lunch with my angry ten-year-old self, to warn her of this morning and give her the flowers to point her in a different direction."

page 297 - The moment when Victoria realizes that Catherine loved Grant, and the respect she has for Catherine's choice to raise him alone, and Grant's acknowledgement that whatever else his mother did or didn't do . . . she loved him. Powerful.

page 308 - The ending has so much hope and promise. " . . . I would learn to love her like a mother loves a daughter, imperfectly and without roots."

Author's Note - "Reading through the book more carefully (Dumont's The Floral Offering), I found no explanation for the discrepancy, so I went in search of additional dictionaries, hoping to determine the "correct" definition of the yellow rose. Instead I found that the problem was not specific to the yellow rose; nearly every flower had multiple meanings, listed in hundreds of books, in dozens of languages, and on countless websites."

I think that's part of the reason I'm such a skeptic about the "meanings" of flowers . . . who says what they mean? Why can't we just enjoy their beauty?

Added 3/26/14 - someone at book club told me that Judy Schalow had recommended this title. I need to thank her for the suggestion! She is such a wonderful lady.