by Jasmine Warga
Hennepin County Library hardcover 302 pages
genre: YA fiction, coming-of-age, suicide
I was nervous about a book dealing with suicide. Middle schoolers are as much at risk for depression and suicide as older teens are (and they are much less able to think / talk through things in general). This is beautifully written. Aysel (pronounced like "gazelle" without the initial letter) and Roman meet online to be suicide partners. As they meet to plan how they will end their lives, they start to like one another and find joy in their time together. Their pain, their fears, their past all start to get unpacked as they talk. I don't want to wreck the story for another reader. It's a pretty quick book, but very much worth the time and energy. Still struggling whether I will or won't buy it for my collection. Tough stuff to deal with.
page 40 - "What people never understand is that depression isn't about the outside; it's about the inside. Something inside me is wrong. Sure, there are things in my life that make me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice in my head."
page 180 - "I wonder if joy has potential energy. Or if there is potential energy that leads to joy, like a happiness serum that lingers in people's stomachs and slowly bubbles up to create the sensation we know as happiness."
page 228 - "I guess he's right: I am a flake. But maybe meeting Roman has helped me to understand myself better. Yes, I'm broken. And yes, he's broken. But the more we talk about it, the more we share our sadness, the more I start to believe that there could be a chance to fix us, a chance that we could save each other."
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