The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

By: John Gottman

Hennepin County library paperback 284 pages plus index

Published 1999 (this revised, updated edition from 2015)

Genre: non-fiction, relationships, marriage

 

I didn't actually read this book, but I skimmed it. I had heard about it during the Equip conference and contemplated buying it for two nephews who are getting married in 2026. It looks interesting and even valuable for someone interested in enhancing their marriage. 

 

I've decided not to buy copies of it as gifts because I'm not sure if these couples are readers. It's kind of pointless if it isn't used. The seven principles start on chapter four and each of the sections includes questionnaires and activities. 

 

I'm blogging it because then I can do an easy search if I change my mind about buying it. We're celebrating our fortieth wedding anniversary and get along well, so I didn't feel a need to read it carefully. There was a waiting list and I'm still playing catch-up on all my library books. 

The Four Loves

By: C.S. Lewis

Libby audiobook 2 hours

Published: 1960 (this edition 2011)

Genre: non-fiction, theology

 

This was recommended by a speaker at April's Equip conference. I'm a fan of Lewis' writing, so I was curious to "read" it. I loved hearing Lewis read his own work, but I was less thrilled about Chuck Colson's commentary. Whenever I hear his voice, I think of Watergate and people in power who lie and cheat. I know he has his own story and strives to glorify God, but just the sound of his voice is repellent to me.

 

Lewis identifies four different types of love: storge (affection), philia (friendship), eros (romantic), and agape (charity - unconditional "God" love).  I confess I took very few notes, mostly just listening to his voice.

 

storge - (pronounced "store - ghee") - affection, especially between parents and children / family / pets! 

 

I liked his explanation of  "charity" as a kind of love. I love the sound of his voice.

 

At one point, I thought he was being old-fashioned (eros - that's fair), but then he talked about sex and sensuality as different from true eros love. It was fascinating. 

 

Eros - face to face / Philia - side by side

 

philia - NOT homosexuality / Inklings as an example

 

"I do not like Colson's blurbs between the different sections. Am I just too hard-hearted and judgmental?" (one of my notes)

 

philia - talked about less because some people do not experience it!

 

I'm so grateful for all the love in my life - all four types of love! I don't really have anything profound to say about this book, but it was interesting. The fact that he wrote this over sixty years ago and yet it is very much relevant says a lot.

The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith

By: Timothy Keller

personal copy, hardcover, 133 pages plus acknowledgments and notes

Published: 2008

Genre: Non-fiction, Christian faith

 

I'm a big Timothy Keller fan (RIP), but this book has been on my shelf for a while. I really, really enjoyed it. I underlined a LOT, but quickly decided this book is a "keeper," so I don't have too much to blog.

 

In sharing the familiar story of the prodigal son from Luke chapter15, Keller dives in to how BOTH brothers had a wrong relationship with the father. So much is preached about the prodigal son and the father's forgiveness, but less is taught about the elder brother. Keller has something to say about that!

 

I confess, I've always connected with the elder brother's frustration and anger. "I've done the right thing and I've never been celebrated!" That sense of being wronged . . . oh my. Keller really opened my eyes in this book. I love how he teaches and preaches. 

 

I did put one post-it note in place. In chapter 1 within the section titled, "Why People Like Jesus But Not the Church," Keller writes:

 

He is on the side of neither the irreligious nor the religious, but he singles out religious moralism as a particularly deadly spiritual condition.

It is hard for us to realize this today, but when Christianity first arose in the world it was not called a religion. It was the non-religion.

 

There is so much that I have underlined, starred, noted, etc. in this little book. I already look forward to re-reading it! Turning every thought captive to the Lord Jesus Christ and examining my own heart . . . these are things I need to be actively working at.

 

 I loved the reference to Babette's Feast and I'm so glad I've read that story. I love that Jesus and salvation are experiential, material, individual, and communal. (I know that last bit seems contradictory, but it's not!)

 

I highly recommend this book (and am willing to loan out my copy). 

Counting by 7s

By: Holly Goldberg Sloan

Libby audiobook 7 hours

Read by: Robin Miles

Published: 2013

Genre: YA realistic fiction / coming-of-age

 

This book was intriguing! Willow Chance is an extraordinary 12 year old, probably on the autism spectrum as a very high-functioning intellectual. Initially, I wasn't a huge fan. But as we get to know Willow and the people in her world, the big life-changing event and how she navigates it becomes more and more fascinating. Ultimately, I loved this book and would gladly read it again!

 

Dell Duke - the pathetic counselor / therapist hired by the school district to work with at-risk kids

 

Patty Nguyen - manicurist / business owner / mom

 

Mai - Patty's strong teen daughter who loves fashion

 

Quang-ha - Mai's sullen, troublemaker brother who's also a gifted artist

 

Jairo - taxi driver who becomes Willow's friend

 

 Lenore - social worker who's determined but overworked and rules-oriented

 

I don't want to give too much away, but there are so many different themes and ideas in this book: botany, classifying people, living your dreams, belonging, honesty, . . .  

 

I recommend this book but wonder if it would appeal to middle schoolers (presumably the target audience, given the protagonist's age).