Looking for Red

By: Angela Johnson

NPMS teacher bookshelf paperback 116 pages

Published: 2002

Genre: YA realistic fiction

I was substitute teaching and realized that I only had an ebook on my phone, so I grabbed this off the teacher's bookshelf for silent reading time. (I like to set a good example.) I hadn't finished it by the end of the school day, so I left a note for the teacher and brought it home.

For such a short book, it sure took me long enough to read it! I don't think it will "sell" well to many sixth graders, but I do like Johnson's voice as an author. The story was dreamy in a way, with specific memories and images.

 

Twelve-year-old protagonist "Mike" (Michaela) is struggling with the death of her older brother Red. Joining her in grief are Red's girlfriend Mona and best friend Mark. But her parents, who she refers to by their first names, seem to not understand her. Cassie and Frank are dealing with their own grief, of course, but the story is told from Mike's perspective.

Things about Red that stand out for Mike are beads, fishing, frogs, being on the water, . . . and she clings to these things as well as the sight of his form smoking by the shed. She seems to be in a daze most of the story as she continues to look for her brother and make her way through life without him.

Page 6: Sometimes I want Cassie to look tired and worn out. You know, like someone who can't take one more minute of whatever it is that's dragging her down. But she never looks that way. She never complains or feels like the end is coming.

Mike's perception is that her mom isn't hurting but I can't believe a mom wouldn't deeply grieve the loss of her firstborn. Moms tend to hold it together, despite what they feel inside. Grief looks different for different people.

Page 9: It is because of her aunt that Cassie doesn't have any religion. She says people like her aunt Charity were Nirvana-bound the second the doctor smacked them. Hell would melt if somebody like her aunt Charity ended up there.

Mike is thinking of when she was little and heard her mother say she would dance on her aunt's grave. Little Mike didn't understand that the Pentacostal aunt thought dancing was a sin and this comment by Cassie was a diss and not a compliment. I don't want to be a Jesus-follower who repels people from the Lord, but I don't want to be a people-pleaser instead of pleasing God, either.

Page 13: I look at my parents and know that they are mouthing words they know by heart. You know the ones - don't judge anyone, let people feel as they will. Yeah. They know the words.

I'm not sure why I tagged this line. Perhaps because I've thought a lot lately about the things our parents said to us over and over and what we repeat. That's something generations remember.

Page 19: I think it's like walking barefoot in a room full of broken glass, when someone you love goes away.

You have to get out of it, so you have to go on no matter how many jagged pieces of glass stab you. Some pieces hurt more than others. 

 

This seems a very apt description. She goes on and it's well-written. There's also some swearing, which I think is authentic for this character and what she's going through. But again I wonder if this book will be read by many of these students . . . there was a set and they look brand new.

 

Page  24: Caroline says that sometimes being old has to be just about the most boring thing in the world to be.

Caroline is Mike's fun aunt. But I can't agree with her sentiment. I don't find being older to be boring at all! Or perhaps I just enjoy less drama and stress with the calmer pace of life now.

Page 42: Do people think about how happy they are when they're walking the dog or hanging with their friends?

 

I think people need to make a conscious decision to appreciate life in the "normal" moments. Certainly, having a major life event can change your perceptions. But it isn't normal for a twelve-year-old to be cognizant of this.

 

Page 60: "Do you think your brother is haunting you, Mike?"

 

Mike's conversation with her neighbor Jo (who sounds like a hoot!) is getting too close to the pain she is in, so she takes off and runs into Mark, then Mona, on a bridge by the coast.

 

Page  113 finally includes the information that has been alluded to throughout the entire book. How Red died. Why Mike, Mona, and Mark are struggling so badly with the loss of Red. It was nice to finally "get" the scene that sets up the entire book.