He Should Have Told the Bees

By: Amanda Cox

Dakota County Library paperback 307 pages

Published:  2023

Genre: Christian realistic fiction

We discussed this at book club Monday! I enjoyed reading it and hearing others' opinions. It's another one of those books that I liked, but didn't love. I re-read my review of her The Secret Keepers of Old Depot Grocery and I'm struggling to find out why I respond the way I do.

Beck (bee keeper) and Callie (candle maker) are very different women who have had different childhood experiences. Beck's mother left when she was little and her dad quit his banking job to stay home with her and teach her about farming and beekeeping. Callie never knew her dad and moved around with her mother (who used drugs and alcohol). I had more compassion for Callie because I've seen the pain of a child who has had to become the adult too early due to a parent's choices.

It's interesting that Cox writes such incredible male characters. In this book, Luke, Isaac, and even George Walsh are pretty stand-up guys. Kind, honest, helpful, respectful, . . . It's an interesting quality to have wonderful men (who aren't very nuanced).

I loved the bee theme running throughout! We talked at book club about the way bee habits and behaviors were paralleled by the humans. I looked up other bee-based books I've read. I may want to re-read The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. It's been a while!

Page 124-5: "Survival had always depended upon control. When the person who is supposed to take care of you falls apart at the slightest puff of wind, you learn to be the strong one. The one who is never shaken."

Callie wants to confide in Luke, but has spent her life stuffing her emotions and worries instead of sharing them. The few times she has shared, her mother has pulled her away to a new place. (Youth director Jenni . . . Ms. Ruthie's death doesn't really count as her mom's fault.)

Page 137: "It seemed the fate of Walsh Farm was now in the determined hands of a sassy sock alien."

I liked Fern (Katya) and her positive impact on Beck. I liked the wild mismatched socks. It was interesting at book club to hear that Fern bugged Jess (and Callie bugged Jean). Although Fern was kind of irritating, I like that she cared about Beck and what happened to the farm.

Page 139-140: "'It's a hard lesson to learn, you know. When you just want your parent to put you first. To love you more than the things they are addicted to. Something every other kid on the planet seems to have and you don't.'

'Does it sound trite if I say that you have that in Jesus, even if you don't have that in a parent.'

Callie sat straighter, stretching out the tension building in the middle of her back. She pondered his words, knowing he meant well. 'In my mind, I recognize the truth of that statement. But it doesn't take away the craving for a mom who still lives in my heart. Sometimes I get really angry at myself. Like I shouldn't need that. Especially from her.' She huffed out a breath. 'But right or wrong, that's how I feel.'"

Wow. This really struck me. First of all, what Luke is saying is true but it can sound very trite! I love Callie's response! She recognized that what she FELT didn't necessarily match what she KNEW. For people who don't have faith in Jesus, Luke's words are going to sound absolutely trite. People who mock the "thoughts and prayers" don't realize that for people who know Jesus, prayers absolutely can change lives. They shouldn't just be toss-away words. And even if you know that Jesus loves you unconditionally, you can still be sad that the person who brought you into this world doesn't truly love you the way they should. I'm so glad my parents loved me.

Page 147: "He should have told her then about the secret language - that those purple blooms were meant to be her mother's perennial apology, coming back every year as a fresh reminder. She would have let him mow them down. Would've helped him rip the rooted bulbs up from the ground."

George Walsh did his daughter Beck a disservice by trying to shield her from difficulty. He did it out of love, but his untimely death really messed with her. The purple hyyacinths had so much significance in the story!

Page 166: "'I came home from school the next day and mom had all our possessions packed into her beater of a car. She said that she'd gotten a new job in the next state. I knew she was lying, but I still got in the car. I never saw Jenni again, but my relationship with Jesus that bloomed that year, that was something I could always take with me.' That and one of the discs of lavender soap she swiped from Jenni's guest bathroom. 'No matter what my mom did or didn't do, that was one thing no one could take from me.'"

Taking that soap . . . somehow made me hope that Jenni noticed and understood. I hope that she kept praying for young Callie. It's a reminder to me to pray for the people God puts on my heart.

Page 199: "'But then I get this picture in my head of standing before God someday. And I never want Him to look at me and say, 'You had the chance to help her find wholeness, to find Me, and you chased temporary things instead.' It's hard to know the difference between tough love and giving up on someone.' She scrubbed a hand over her face. 'My whole life has been a desperate mission to build something stead and stable, and every time, right when I think I am about to arrive in the promised land, Mom shows up and finds a way to drag me back into the wilderness. It's so hard to look at this place and not see it as my way out.'"

Callie's phone conversation with Luke (overheard by Beck) is absolutely key! When you love someone and want to help them, where is the line? When are you taking on responsibility you shouldn't? I'm fine with tough love, but I also want to show the love of Christ to people. This is the crux of the story for me. Ultimately, I need to be responsible to God alone. I need to seek His wisdom and direction and obey what He tells me.

Page 251: "It was a hard lesson to learn - that you couldn't be the one to fill the holes in another person's life. Working through dysfunctional patterns, finding healthy coping skills, and letting God heal the wounds the past left behind, those were things you couldn't do for another person. No matter how much you wanted to."

As Callie reads a letter from George to Lindy, she recognizes that he tried to "fix" her the same way Callie had been trying to help her mother. I liked the resolution the story brought to many of the characters' lives. I was wrong about the identity of Callie's father (but don't want to put a spoiler here). I initially disliked Annette as a busybody neighbor, but ended up really liking her. Cox is a wonderful author.