Shop Tails: The Animals Who Help Us Make Things Work

By: Nancy R. Hiller

personal copy, hardcover, 350 pages plus bibliography and info on a cat rescue

Published: 2021

Genre: non-fiction, memoir, pets, woodworking

 

My son and daughter-in-law gave me this book for a birthday or Christmas a few years ago. I started it but set it aside for almost a year and have finally finished it. Before I deal with all my post-it notes, here's an overview:

 

What I loved:

• stories about animals
• stories about woodworking
• beautiful color photos
• her honesty

What I didn't love:

• her messed-up relationships!
• her moving constantly and living like a gypsy
• her allowing some men to dictate her happiness 

 

For different reasons, I didn't love her cancer battle. I appreciate her strength. This book was NOT about her physical well-being. In fact, she alluded to the fact that her chemo-related challenges were not as difficult as what other people have had to deal with. For most of the book, I completely forgot that she had cancer! (Of course, I had to look her up online and found that she died from pancreatic cancer in 2022 at age 63.) 

 

Page 15: For many, my specialist's estimate of four to six months, and maybe two years, holds true. 

 

This instantly made me think of my sister-in-law Nan. When the doctors told her six months, it was as though she decided to go ahead and die in six months. And she did. I appreciate the evaluating that Hiller did - she thought about quality of life, comfort, expense, etc. She wrote very eloquently about her decision-making. Since this was at the start of the book, by the time I picked it up last week to finish reading, I had completely forgotten about this!

 

Page 18: Even after getting the port I reserved the option to cancel chemo at the last minute. I have never enjoyed interactions with the Medical Industrial Complex; I dislike being viewed as a patient, a word derived from the Latin verb for suffering, in the sense of bearing something, or having things done to one, instead of being an agent, one who does the doing.

 

This is something that resonated for me. I strongly dislike the health care system in America. I'm thankful I don't need to deal with it more than I do. I'm a tiny bit curious to dig into the meaning of "patient" myself, but not now. All of my friends who have shared about chemotherapy and its effects have talked about how awful it made them feel.

 

Page 19:  When online patient portal forms malfunction, emails to addresses on the hospital's own website go unanswered and you end up on hold nearly every time you call, trapped in a repeating loop of corporate advertisements and jingles, the claim to value patient engagement rings a little hollow.

 

Yes! I remember writing an angry letter to Fairview asking them how they can call what they do health "care" when they don't seem to care at all. It's maddening!

 

Page 22: The first time our mom caught us in this pointless killing spree she suggested we think about how the ants might feel about being deprived of their lives for no reason other than our entertainment.

 

Hiller is writing about developing empathy. Although I don't have any particular affinity for ants (and I definitely kill any that show up inside my house!), I wish more kiddos got lessons in empathy from their parents.

 

Page 31: Having lived in England for 16 years, I've experienced the realities of a nationalized healthcare system. No system is without its drawbacks, but I would take nationalized health care any day over the administration-heavy, bottom-line focused system we currently have in the U.S. . . . 

 

Again, I agree with her. This is beautifully said. Of course a nationalized system isn't Utopian. But it's better than what we have in the United States (super expensive and hard to get good care without spending a fortune - all while health care and pharmaceutical executives are making money hand over fist).

 

Page 35: In part, I realized, it was because I was raised not to want, but to be grateful for what already was.

 

There's a lot you can say about being content with what you have and having an attitude of gratitude. I think we get in trouble when we use absolutes. Wanting something (material object, travel, relationship) isn't inherently bad. She goes on.

 

Page 36: But you can't really predict what a kid will do with the Buddha's First and Second Noble Truths, which in a nutshell, see all life as suffering, and suffering as a product of selfish desire.

 

Interesting. I contrast that concept with God's Word in John 16:33. Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." One of my daughters-in-law is exploring Buddhism. I should ask her about the Noble Truths and why this faith system appeals to her.

 

Page 39: I was dangerously dependent on outside forces, people who expressed their opposition, no less than their approval.

 

When we let others determine our identity and self-worth, it will be troubling.

 

Page 87: Just being in her presence was a joy - she paid attention to us and seemed to appreciate us as people, and she always smelled like her perfume, Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche. What's more, she had a slightly naughty sense of fun.

 

Hiller is talking about her grandmother Esse and visits with her when she lived in London. I want to be a delightful grandma who loves her grandchildren and leaves them with joyful memories.

 

Page 89: I had to pee when I got off the train, but I didn't want to spend the penny to go to the station loo. I decided to wait until I got home.

 

This didn't end well . . . and sadly, I can relate. I've always joked about my "micro-bladder" and peeing a lot. But it's not funny. Birthing three ginormous babies, drinking too much coffee, and aging have made this situation even more relatable. (Though I rarely try to "hold it." I find bathrooms quickly everywhere I go.)

 

Page 130: Bad things happened everywhere.

 

I decided not to include the story of the chapter, with the vulture she tried to rescue and the idea that we didn't have Facebook in the 70s and 80s to let people know we're okay. Just this statement. Yes, bad things happen everywhere. I remember vividly when Jacob Wetterling was abducted. Small town Minnesota. Riding his bike in the day. It was shocking.

 

Page 156: "If you get a dog, I'm out of here," Flynn said. I had a hard time taking him at his word. How could he be so adamant? Dogs are great companions. And puppies are irresistibly cute. Surely if I came home with one, he'd relent.

 

This bothers me on multiple levels, but if you disregard what your partner is saying and do what you want anyhow, you're the jerk. (And yes, I've been the jerk in the past. It's something I try to avoid.) No wonder so many of her relationships didn't work out.

 

Page 172: I winced in the living room, deeply conflicted about the harsh punishment while knowing I'd done William a disservice by failing to give him the kind of training he should have had, and sorry about the injury to Alan's hand.

 

This whole page drove me crazy! I even wrote in the margin. Her partner at the time BEAT the dog William with a 2x4!!! She goes on to say, "Alan was a good man . . . " Sigh. I'm getting mad again just looking at this page.

 

Page 173: Like William, I'm not much of a quitter, at least unless I'm thoroughly convinced that leaving is the right decision. So I doubled down on my efforts to bear the way things were and stayed.

 

Staying in a horrible situation with someone who would beat a dog with a piece of lumber . . . I can't imagine making that choice. It makes me think of what I've read about domestic violence and how abused women struggle to leave. Hiller did eventually leave.

 

Page  175: Already twice-divorced, I had been told repeatedly that I was joyless and unlovable. I was in my mid-40s, an age at which a vast corpus of popular publications assured me I was unlikely to marry again or even have another long-term relationship. I wanted a partner; there was so much in life to share - not just sex, but good food, fires in the woodstove, gardening, walks, books and movies, other friends - and I have always loved the basic mammalian comfort of sleeping next to someone I love and trust.

 

While I share her affinity for having a partner, her many partners frustrated me. Don't be so quick to connect with someone if you aren't confident that you are true partners.

 

Page 184: This would be the last time I betrayed an animal friend because of a man. 

 

It took her long enough! This was still Alan . . . who actively sabotaged the things she loved (like tearing up her carefully tended sunflowers and leaving them to wilt and die). 

 

Page  196: As I thought about that experience over subsequent years, I came to see "things versus people" as a dichotomy that's false and destructive. You can't even have things without people; we're interdependent.

 

She goes on to talk about makers - both craftspeople and factory workers. "Material artifacts are also repositories of memory." This section was wonderful for me to read because I've really been struggling with having too much stuff and wanting to get rid of excess. Although I value people more than things, I spend lots of time dealing with things.

 

Page 211: That summer, Mark asked if I'd like to move in with him and Jonas.

 

As soon as I read this I thought, "Oh no! Not another one!" But Mark was a keeper, a truly good guy.

 

Page 229: Over his 12-1/2 years Louis met many dogs and performed sophisticated psychological operations on them all. He'd crouch beneath a truck or around a corner, then leap out with a startling cry. He ignored any dog that wanted to play, walking past with regal nonchalance, then surreptitiously batting at the poor sap's leg or tail to get its attention. When the dog perked up - Oh! You want to play? - Louis's eyes glazed over and he moved on. 

 

That's such a cat thing to do! I love how she wrote this. Most chapters were titled by the main animal(s) in her life at the time.  Binky, Oscar, Winnie, Lucy . . . When I was reading chapter 18, I had to go back to see what the heading was. "Missing in Action." Heart-breaking.

 

Page 254: Henny, though, was something else. Alarmed by the viciousness of the attack, I thought she was the one who should be euthanized. Mark was adamantly opposed.

 

This section was scary to read. To have a dog that could fly into a fury and cause damage to other animals or people? Scary. It reminded me of my son's dog Otto. Otto could be so incredibly sweet and well-behaved, but could switch to insane attack at a moment's notice. I called it doing a "Jeckyll / Hyde."  

 

Without completely spoiling the book for another reader (STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!), chapter 18 is about her coming home to find her stepson, Jonas, dead. Pages 301-305 are especially harrowing. This scenario could happen to any of us. It turns out he had been trying the "choking" fad and was conducting a scientific experiment. He didn't commit suicide; he miscalculated the way his body would go when he passed out. Heart-breaking. Desiring an altered state of consciousness - alcohol, drugs, sniffing, choking . . . they're all dangerous.

 

Page 307: But at home he would spend hours by the fire, writing in his journal, reading poetry and weeping.

 

Mark's grief was deep and real. Losing a child changes your existence - I've observed that in others. I don't want to experience it ever!

 

Page 307: I get the concept of toxic positivity, but what I did next doesn't qualify. Mark needed a good shaking-up.

 

I've certainly been guilty of "toxic positivity," but I'm trying to be more sensitive to where others are at and what they need most.

 

Page 307: Sometimes a simple shift in perspective is capable of altering the world; it doesn't erase the damage or the pain, and it certainly can't prevent death, but it can offer a kind of freedom - the freedom to see opportunity amid loss and hardship. While a shift in perspective is no substitute for action to minimize avoidable risks, right injustice and address the world's sometimes-overwhelming ills, it strikes me as a critical component in any kind of healing.

 

Yes, considering your perspective and your options is freeing.

 

Page 314: When you think about it, it's a miracle that anyone reaches adulthood. Tragedy can strike any family. Why don't we, as a culture, talk about this more?

 

If I hazarded a guess, it would be that most people avoid talking about unpleasant topics. And tragedies are unpleasant.

 

Page 330: No, I conclude: it seems indisputably better to have the chance to face seemingly unbearable loss alongside those we love. This, too, is related to a sense of agency: Anything can happen. We have only so much control over events themselves, but we can usually control how we respond.

 

This is so true - we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond.  

 

I appreciate Hiller's honesty in sharing her stories. She loved many pets and people and made beautiful wood furniture. She wrote books and articles.  

The Tattooist of Auschwitz

By: Heather Morris

Libby audiobook 7 hours

Read by:  Richard Armitage

Published: 2017 (this version 2018)

Genre: historical fiction, WWII

 

This was both horrific and beautiful. Any book dealing with WWII and the Holocaust will naturally examine some of the most awful human behavior throughout history. It's hard to listen to the things that Mengele and the Nazis did to other human beings. That said, this book is very well-written.

 

Since I was listening while I drove, I made very few notes. Apparently, this book has been made into a series . . . like television? This book was written based on interviews with Ludwig (Lale) Sokolov. It was weird to have it be a love story because of the setting, but it's kind of nice that he found love and it sustained him.

 

Listening to it, I thought Lale sounded like "Lah - lay" and Tätowierer (German word for tattooist) sounded like "Tatt - oh - vee - air - ay."  Armitage's vocal work was excellent - German, French, distinguishing between different characters . . . just stellar.

 

Aaron pulling him off the death cart! And then being disappeared. Victor and Yuri and the smuggling ring. French Tätowierer selecting him, then Lale choosing Leon. So many horrible, cruel things. 

 

One thing that stood out for me was when Lale talked about valuing books and the German guard dismissing books and reading as pointless and unnecessary. It made me think of our current POTUS and his disdain for books and learning.  

 

In some ways, the story seemed too good to be true. Lale managed to get out of "hopeless" situations. He and his sweetheart both survived the camps. I'm glad I read this, but some people object to how certain situations and places were described. For me, the idea that human beings can do such evil is a cautionary tale. And I do like a happy ending.

The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, Volume 2

By: Beth Brower

Libby audiobook  5 hours

Read by: Genevieve Gaunt 

Published: 2019 (this version 2025)

Genre: historical fiction

 

I love this series so much! Each volume is short. I've listened to it and have a print version on hold at the library. The narrator does a lovely job, but I just want to pore over the words. I may write a fan letter to the author!

 

In this one, Emma establishes a communication and even friendship with "the renter." She makes what I think of as a "deal with the devil" in agreeing to trade favors with the duplicitous Jack. They make a daring rescue of Jane Eyre from the school Emma went to. 

 

Just a delightful story and I'll add to this entry after I read the print version. 

 

Lolita

By: Vladimir Nabokov

With an introduction by Claire Messud 

Libby ebook  Part One (33 chapters), Part Two (36 chapters), "Vladimir Nabokov on a Book Entitled Lolita," Author Bio, and Reading Group Guide

Published: 1955 (this edition / intro 2025)

Genre: fiction

 

I only got to chapter five in the first part before I decided I didn't want to read this book. I try to read at least one "classic" work of literature each year, to broaden my horizons. I had some vague notions about this book based on references to it (especially the Police song sung by Sting - Don't Stand So Close to Me - which references "that book by Nabokov").

 

If you're curious about the book, just read the Wikipedia page about it. I'm glad to have a bookmark in my brain for the name Humbert Humbert, but I'll find a different book to spend my time reading.

 

Introduction: The real world around us, seventy years after Lolita's publication, unsettlingly resembles that of Humbert Humbert's account, one in which men are psychotically obsessed with women (or girls, in his case), whose human reality is all but obliterated by their projected fantasy.

 

This creeped me out and immediately brought to mind the Epstein files and the many, many men who lived out their sexual fantasies with underage girls. Nasty. Not fiction.

 

Foreword: Viewed simply as a novel, "Lolita" deals with situations and emotions that would remain exasperatingly vague to the reader had their expression been etiolated by means of platitudinous evasions.

 

From Wikipedia: "The novel is prefaced by a fictitious foreword by John Ray Jr., an editor of psychology books. Ray states that he is presenting a memoir written by a man using the pseudonym "Humbert Humbert", who had recently died of heart disease while in jail awaiting trial for an unspecified crime" So . . . Nabokov wrote the foreword as though a psychology book editor wrote it. Weird. 

 

Chapter 3: . . . . and four months later she died of typhus in Corfu.

 

Holy cow! He's talking about a young love for Annabel and is describing a scene at the beach. This comment comes at the end of a sentence and chapter.   

 

Chapter 5: . . . and soon I found myself maturing amid a civilization which allows a man of twenty-five to court a girl of sixteen but not a girl of twelve.

 

Um . . . yeah. Because that's just creepy. At this point, I went to wikipedia and read the summary of the story. I am not interested in trying to understand this book from an academic point of view and I certainly don't want to read it for "pleasure." So I figured I'd blog this much, return it, and move on. His discussion of "nymphettes" was just too much for me.

Glucose Revolution: The life-changing power of balancing your blood sugar

By: Jessie Inchauspé

Scott County Library hardcover 224 pages plus acknowledgements, notes, and index

Published: 2022

Genre: non-fiction, nutrition

 

This book was recommended to me by an alternative-health person I met this summer. My blood sugar numbers have been creeping up and I do NOT want to have another medication to take, so I decided to read this. The cover also has the blurb "Lose weight, stop cravings, get your energy back, and still eat what you love."

 

I know myself well enough to know that I am not ready to radically change my eating habits. I do, however, want to make healthier choices and avoid being prescribed more medications than I'm already taking. So here are the "takeaways" from this book. (The author wore a glucose monitor and wrote a lot about glucose "spikes" and how our body deals with them. It's worth reading and thinking about.)

 

Page 16: Starch, fiber, fructose, and sucrose - the various forms glucose can take - exist thanks to photosynthesis. 

 

I'm not sure why I marked this, but thinking about food in terms of these "types" and knowing how our bodies process, store, and burn glucose was interesting.

 

Hack 1 - Eat Foods in the Right Order  

 

Page  73: What is the right order? It's fiber first, protein and fat second, starches and sugars last.

 

This is something I'm trying to start. When it's reasonable, I'm getting veggies into me, then protein, then other stuff. Work in progress. A few times, I've done celery with peanut butter before eating my meal.

 

Hack 2 - Add a Green Starter to All Your Meals

 

This . . . just won't happen. ALL my meals? Again, when reasonable, I'll have a green veggie before the rest of my meal. (Salad first is how I grew up, but only at some dinner meals.) 

 

Hack 3 - Stop Counting Calories

 

Page 104: In any case, calories measure heat generated, nothing else.

Page 104: One hundred calories of fructose, 100 calories of glucose, 100 calories of protein, and 100 calories of fat may release the same amount of heat when they burn, but they have vastly different effects on your body. Why? Because they are different molecules.

 

This section made me think of the Eat This, Not That books. It makes a lot of sense that calories only aren't as important as how your body uses what you eat. I remember when I started tracking my food in 2016 - would I rather have a sugar cookie at work or consume those calories in a glass of red wine that evening? Making conscious choices about what to eat is helpful.

 

Hack 4 - Flatten Your Breakfast Curve

 

Page 123: Eating takes longer than drinking. Second, in a whole piece of fruit, sugar is always accompanied by fiber. As I explained earlier, fiber significantly reduces the spike caused by any sugar we eat.

 

Page 123: The more denatured a fruit is, the worse it is for us. An apple is better for us than applesauce, which is better for us than apple juice. Essentially, as soon as it's juiced, dried, candied, canned, or turned to jam, you should think of fruit as dessert, just as you would a slice of cake.

 

Although I completely understand what she's saying here, I think for those of us who easily tend toward unhealthy eating habits, even fruit juice or dried fruit is preferable to a candy bar or doughnut. I love that she advocates for a savory breakfast. I much prefer bacon and eggs to pancakes or cereal!

 

Page 133: A good rule of thumb for a smoothie: don't put more fruit into the blender than you could eat whole in one sitting.

 

Hack 5 - Have Any Type of Sugar You Like - They're All the Same

 

Page 147: . . . remember, sweetness activates the addiction center in our brain. The more we eat it, the more we want it.

 

I didn't used to be a "sweet tooth" person, but I find myself eating more candy and sweet treats the last few years than I used to . . . and I'd like to change that.  

 

Hack 6 - Pick Dessert Over a Sweet Snack

 

I think she talked about saving that sweet snack for after your next meal. Eat it as a dessert instead of snacking on it between meals. 

 

Hack 7 - Reach for Vinegar Before You Eat

 

Page 159: What researchers found was that by adding vinegar before meals for three months, the subjects lost two to four pounds and reduced their visceral fat, waist and hip measurements, and triglyceride levels.

 

I'm not a big fan of vinegar, but I think this is one hack I will try. Once a day instead of every meal, but a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in a big glass of water is worth trying.

 

Page 166: You shouldn't experience any negative side effects as long as you stick to drinkable vinegar - i.e., vinegar with 5 percent acidity (cleaning vinegar has 6 percent acidity, so if it's next to the mops and toilet paper at the supermarket, don't drink it!).

 

I didn't even think about the variability of acidity in different vinegars! Now I want to check and see what I have in my house.

 

Hack 8 - After You Eat, Move

 

Sometimes I'm good about this and other times (too often) I just sit on the sofa.  Going for a walk is much better for my body. This is a habit I could definitely work on.

 

Hack 9 - If You Have to Snack, Go Savory 

 

Again, I like savory, so this is good! I'm just going to throw a pic from page 186 here for ideas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hack 10 - Put Some Clothes on Your Carbs

 

This was about eating "on the go." So if you're having a brownie, ask for some Greek yogurt on it. Or add nuts to your cookie dough. She had a lot of ideas, but I don't think anything really inspired me here. Or maybe I was just already thinking about doing some of the earlier hacks.

 

Cheat Sheets - How to Be a Glucose Goddess When Things Get Hard 

 

She has an instagram account called the Glucose Goddess. She shared some people's testimonials about how her hacks have helped them. This book is worth reading if you're curious, like me. And / or your blood sugar is of concern. She's careful to say that you should consult with your doctor if you have diabetes and are taking insulin. It's well-written and I want to try some of these things. Basically, I am starting with eating more veggies. (A trip to the Farmer's Market was a good thing for me to do last Saturday.) 

 

 

The September Society

By: Charles Finch

Libby audiobook 

Read by: James Langton

Published: 2008 (this version 2011)

Genre: historical murder mystery

Charles Lenox Mystery #2 

 

Right from the get-go I did not enjoy this book as much as the first one. The story opens with British soldiers in India and a reference to the "darkies." I know that it's historically accurate, but Lysander and Juniper and their actions are darker spiritually than the people they're denigrating. Then, too, the story made me think immediately of Sherlock Holmes and the Sign of Four. 

 

My random notes include:

• Most of the story is just traveling back and forth from London to Oxford. Why?! 
• Who are all these people?! Dabney, Goodson, . . . I wasn't listening that well . . .  
• McConnell & Toto marriage troubles . . . baby does not necessarily equal happiness! 
• Dithering over asking Jane to marry him! Just ask her! 
• ballistics - history? 

 

It was an interesting murder mystery but much too convoluted for me. I'm not going to request book #3 at this point . . . but I may continue on in the series later. 

Remarkably Bright Creatures

By: Shelby Van Pelt

Libby audiobook 11 hours

Read by:  Marin Ireland and Michael Urie

Published: 2022

Genre: mostly realistic fiction

 

What an engaging story! I loved Tova, the strong-though-tiny widow who cleans at the aquarium. I really liked the octopus Marcellus (and the vocal work of Urie) even though he came across as supercilious at times. Cameron was a bit too much of a deadbeat for me . . . though he got better as the story went on.

 

I was surprised to see that it's being made into a movie . . . and also that this is Van Pelt's debut novel. It was interesting to think about Tova's life - her Swedish father building the house she lived in, her husband's illness and death, the loss of their son Eric at age 18 . . . the author did a nice job making connections throughout the book.

 

For some reason, I really liked the Grateful Dead t-shirt part of the book. I really disliked Tova's "KnitWit" girlfriends, especially Barb. I wish the author had described some aspects of the characters lives in more depth. Aunt Jean was quirky, to say the least. And Ethan's back story seemed slim. But overall, a very delightful book. Marcellus' chapters really enhanced the story. 

 

I found a scrap of paper after I posted this six days ago. Nothing big, but I wanted to note that Cameron's band was "Moth Sausage," and I loved that Ethan found a shirt with their logo. Early on, I had noted "loser" by Cameron's name. I just didn't like him even though his bio mom had dumped him on her sister, his Aunt Jean. It's hard to have empathy for someone who is a lazy slob with a "poor me" attitude. Tova, on the other hand, was amazing. Interesting how things turn around. 

The Brunswick

By: Callie Murray

Dakota County library paperback 340 pages plus author's note and acknowledgements

Published: 2026

Genre: Christian historical fiction, WWII

 

I didn't make it to the book club discussion last night but I really enjoyed this book. Set in Norcross, Georgia in 1939 and Austria (same time), this first-time novelist really crafted an engaging story. Cora is the protagonist who grew up at the Brunswick, a fancy hotel built by her father after he returned from WWI with his French bride. Alas, Cora's mother left and her father fell into a deep depression. Cora struggles to keep the hotel afloat in the aftermath of the Great Depression.

 

Page 72: What would life look like if her mother hadn't left them? If the financial crash hadn't happened? If her father hadn't served in the war?

She could write a thousand different stories, but the truth was they were living just this one.

 

I flagged this passage because I think most people have had times where they've asked the "what if" questions. It can be interesting to think of how life might have turned out differently, but it isn't productive. Looking ahead at options and choices will be more fruitful than looking back.

 

Page 87: Adults hid their expressions like a secret, while children shared theirs so freely, like little gifts.

 

This made me chuckle, because I tend to show my thoughts and feelings quite freely (like a little child) even though I'm sixty! I've always called it NOT having a good poker face.

 

Page 107: "New York strips for all of us. Medium."

 

This was an odd thing for me to flag, but I strongly dislike the idea of anyone ordering other people's food at a restaurant without consulting them! It really makes me crabby! Granted, Billie as a character was dramatic and  forthright, but she just made me mad with this comment at a restaurant while out with best friend Cora and their beaus.

 

Page 124: "Opening the hotel to the children is the right thing to do, so I'm going to do it," she said with fresh resolve. "And I'm going to trust that it's like you say, Evelyn. Surely my father will understand."

 

Cora and her father did not communicate. For her to make major decisions (like opening the Brunswick to dozens of German Jewish children) without even trying to talk with him about it seemed risky. I kept waiting for him to go completely off the deep end. Her blithe attitude belied an undercurrent of tremendous concern.

 

Page 172:  Billie's jaw dropped and Cora clarified, "Not that exciting."

 

I'm not going to explain the entire conversational context here, but this was a lovely scene between best friends as Billie has just experienced her honeymoon night and Cora and Thomas are starting a romance.

 

Page 206: Cora and Thomas had both learned that if life was just a pursuit of happiness, they were destined to profound disappointment. 

But if life were about love, they could find victory, even in the worst of times.

Even grief was a testament to love.

 

This is really key for me. I want to be a faithful Christ follower and not just pursue my own desires. So many people seem to make decisions based purely on their own personal happiness / wants. That isn't fulfilling. I want to live for eternity while still enjoying the blessings of the here and now. (I can hear Louie saying, "You want it all, Jeanne.") God's still working on me!

 

Page 214: It was one thing to wrestle with fear yourself. It was much harder to wrestle the fears of another.

 

It's interesting that such an observation would come from Charlotte, a child. But some children are quite perceptive. She wants to alleviate her parents' worries and the other children's worries . . . but cannot.

 

Page 232: Nobody understands what one is experiencing, she agreed. Sometimes least of all the one experiencing it.

 

This reminds me of the importance of empathy. I may not really know or understand what you're going through, but I care about you and I see your struggle. In this scene, they're waiting for the children to get off the train. Cora wonders what the children are feeling as they come to a safe place but without their parents, and in a strange world with a different language.

 

Page 234: "Worry is a waste of the time we have left."

 

John (the father of Dean, Thomas, and Anders) says this to Cora. He has seen his wife sicken and die from ALS. He has been ostracized because of his German heritage. He has seen troubles befall his sons. But he shares this wisdom with Cora. Scripture says a lot about not worrying!

 

Page 251: It seemed that joy and sorrow weren't on opposite ends of a pole as she once thought. Instead, they felt like circles that often intersected.

 

Cora was a wonderful protagonist with strengths and flaws. I really like this observation. I, too, can laugh and cry in a short span of time.

 

Page 279: He pulled up a watermelon deep from the dirt and . . . 

 

What?! Watermelons don't grow "deep" in the dirt! This stopped me short. A watermelon isn't a carrot.

 

Page 286: . . . John had experienced so much heartache, yet, unlike her own father, he hadn't succumbed to it. Even in the midst of the current hardships, he seemed to be coming back to life again, sprouting after a long winter.

 

Cora's observations about John and her own father don't leave her bitter. She is wondering about the difference and marveling at John's recovery from deep grief.

 

Page 289: "Look, people will always fear what they don't know. The only remedy I've found is just to get to know the unknown."

 

I love Meredith! True salt of the earth, that woman. She certainly takes life in stride.

 

Page 296: Peace emanated from her, filled the room.

How did she manage?

Hope. He heard the word as if it were whispered.

 

When Thomas is being interrogated by the Nazis, he thinks back to his mother as she was suffering and dying. Her example gave him strength.

 

Page 299: She had never understood his patterns - awake all evening, asleep all day. But now for the first time, she could understand how one's mind could work at a different pace as one's body, how they could depend on each other so fully yet let each other down all the same.

 

I like this both for Cora gaining a better understanding of her father and for the concept that our minds and bodies don't always cooperate with one another! It can be maddening to be exhausted and need sleep, but to have your mind running around keeping you awake.

 

Page 307: What could victory even look like in this broken paradigm? Thomas and these children were now free of the Nazis' threat, but the emotional war was just beginning. Fear had given way to guilt and grief, tempered only by the occasional rush of thankfulness, of joy.

Cora watched Ben's face as he felt the blow of each of these, a crushing wave one after another.

Grief and gratitude, like the tides.

 

Freedom is a powerful thing. To be free in your mind and soul isn't the same as being physically free in your body.

 

Page 325: Time had been Cora's enemy, a relentless force that was always far too fast or too slow. 

 

Cora is learning to live in the moment. But this idea that time in an enemy is interesting . . . time is just time. But when "time flies when you're having fun" and it seems to crawl when you want to move on. . . . time can seem to be an entity unto itself. 

 

Page 329: "Dignity's like a lightning rod, it seems."

 

Thomas has "woken" Cora's dad from his stupor. I'm not sure this is a very realistic scenario for someone who's been sunk in a depressive stupor for years, but this comment has some truth to it. As a woman, I need to be more cognizant of how men view "help" from women. It's too easy to have an emasculating effect on men when you are a strong, determined woman.

In her author's note, Murray wrote several things that caught my attention. This novel was partially based upon the real-life story of Eleanor and Gilbert Kraus as told in their granddaughter Liz Perle's book and film 50 Children: The Rescue Mission of Mr. and Mrs. Kraus. I really want to see this! I've requested the book from the library. It appears that the documentary can be watched on YouTube.

 

The author also wrote about how elements of Cora's life paralleled her own. She also struggled with weakness in her hands and tremors, feared ALS, and found that a stomach infection had caused a malabsorption of nutrients. "So much of what we felt we had lost was returned to us, but that experience was intensely formative. 'Open hands' became our mantra." The image of open hands, ready to receive, was a beautiful part of this book.

 

This woman is so amazing! I love how she wove so many different elements into this story without it becoming cluttered or overdone. I really wish I'd been at book club last night. And I hope Murray writes more books! 

 

 

Why Men Hate Going to Church

By: David Murrow

personal paperback 223 pages plus notes

Published: 2011 ("completely revised & updated" from 2005)

Genre: non-fiction, theology, Christianity, church

 

I'm not sure when, why, or how I got this book, but I was interested enough to keep reading it before donating it. Theology isn't my thing, yet I love to learn and be challenged in my thinking. (Okay, I don't *love* being challenged in my thinking, yet I also don't want to retreat to being in an echo chamber of only consuming those ideas that confirm my existing ideas.)

 

I am definitely not the target audience for this book (pastors are), but it was written in a very accessible manner. Raised by a feminist mother, some of his writing was extremely off-putting for me but I do understand the points he's making.

 

Page 71: During the late 1960s, young hippies began turning to Jesus. They went to church but found the music to be a real bummer. Old-fashioned hymns didn't connect with kids who had grown up listening to the Rolling Stones, Creedence Clearwater, the Beatles, and Janis Joplin.

 

Although I was just a little kid when this was going on, it immediately made me think of my sister Ann going to the Jesus People Church in the 1970s. His history lesson is fascinating. I didn't realize that Amy Grant was a big breakthrough artist for Christian music. I just remember liking her music.

 

Page 90: But the average man lacks the churchgoing skills that come naturally to many women.

I'm not talking about spirituality. I'm referring to the mundane, practical abilities that allow a person to function at a high level in a gathering of Christians. Women are just better at "doing church" than men are, because the rules of church favor women.

 

He talks about listening, sociability, verbal fluency, etc. It's interesting. He's careful to make clear that not all women have these strengths nor do all men lack them. In general, modern churches are more geared to women than men. 

 

Page 116:  And boys must have a chance to win - or they become discouraged and quit.

"Win" in Sunday school? You didn't realize it was a competition, did you?

With guys, everything is a competition. And here's the kicker: generally, men will only compete at things they're somewhat good at. If they have no chance of winning, they simply don't play.

 

Human nature . . . we need to think about these things. What's the goal? 

 

Page 120: And thanks to the way we portray Jesus in Sunday school, Christ has become a childish thing. 

 

He talks about the difference between boys and girls and how Jesus is "marketed" in Sunday school curriculum. When boys become teens, they reject the "softness" of Jesus. Again, interesting. A lot of this made me miss the Royal Rangers program at our church. It was wonderful to have godly men teaching boys to be strong followers of Jesus doing "manly" things.

 

Page 127: Together these efforts came to be known as the Muscular Christianity movement.

 

Another history lesson here. He is referring to the 1800s when George Williams started the YMCA. He writes that "Muscular Christianity was a direct assault on Puritan notions of piety." I like that he adds context for his observations and comments.

 

Page 129: And today, with only six hundred thousand members, the Salvation Army sponsors missions in one hundred nations and helps more needy people than every other denomination combined.

 

Wow. That's an amazing statistic (if it's true . . . for over a decade ago). It makes me think of some people's dislike of the Salvation Army because of their not supporting LGBTQ people. I cannot throw stones because I don't do nearly enough myself to help people . . . I ring a bell at a kettle each year because I know it helps raise more money to help more people.

 

Page 135: On its face, this strategy sounds radical (or sexist). But Christ did the same thing. He did not recruit a diverse group of men, women, and children. Instead, he focused like a laser on a homogenous group of twelve guys. Men like Simon Peter became the "rock" upon which he built his church. Diversity and increase came later.

 

Looking to Jesus' example makes a lot of sense. I'm too quick to look at situations through my own lens - sixty year old Minnesota woman in 2026 - and sometimes I need to work to look at other perspectives. And I most definitely need to look at what Jesus said and did. God's wisdom doesn't just dwarf my understanding; it eclipses it! (Actually, those two things are so completely different that they can't really be compared at all.)

 

Page  160: Men give up their weekends to come to church. You'd better tell them why they came. Don't be afraid to ask something great of them. Give the men a specific assignment for the week.

 

The author offers three suggestions for involving men in lessons. Teach by personal experience, stir the pot in discussions, and issue a clear call to action. He shares a conversation between Abraham Lincoln and a companion after a sermon. After Lincoln praises it as "brilliantly conceived, relevant, and well presented," his companion declares it as a great sermon. Lincoln replied that it was not great because Dr. Gurley had not asked anything of them. Whether true or not, this story is a good illustration of sermons needing to challenge us not just entertain or inform us.

 

Page 165: When Christ called disciples, he did not say, "Come, have a personal relationship with me." No, he simply said, "Follow me." Hear the difference? Follow me suggests a mission. A goal. But a personal relationship with Jesus suggest we're heading to Starbucks for some couple time.

 

He makes this point quite a few times. I've sometimes wondered about the romantic-sounding language of some worship songs. How does it feel for guys to sing them about another guy? He goes with a favorite movie analogy - his wife's is a romance; his is action adventure.

 

Page 166: The gospel is the story of a courageous man who is out to save the world against impossible odds. And he is recruiting agents to join him. He is calling you to risk everything to come under his command. And when the mission is over, a precious reward awaits. That's the message men crave.

 

Again, the author is careful with painting such a broad brush over gender differences and individuals. But a lot of what he's writing makes sense. This would be an interesting discussion book for a church group. 

 

Page 197: Nothing in Scripture suggests that long prayers are better than short ones. The Bible recommends consistency and frequency, not length.

 

Prayer! Such a vital part of life. And again, following Jesus' example is better than coming up with our own ideas of how to do things.

 

Page  202: Herb Reese of New Commandment Men's Ministries takes a group of four men and places a widow or single mother under their care. Once a month the men do handyman projects around her house, work on her car, help her balance her checkbook, whatever she needs.

 

I love stuff like this! Herb says, "For a lot of men, this is the first time they really understand the love of Christ. It's practical love. It's something guys can talk about on Monday morning with their coworkers." Such a cool ministry! To the women who need some help and to the men who get the chance to serve. Love it! (Though there's no way I want some other person balancing my checkbook. Come on, girl! Do the math.) This is in a section about how to minister to men. The topics are: give men opportunities to use their skills and gifts, give men a path to walk or a ladder to climb, give men external focus, give men big projects that capture their imaginations, give men adventure, deploy men in servant evangelism, don't keep what your church is doing a secret, charge men money, offer personal invitations to church, recognize the importance of entry and exit points, and make sure that they're also being discipled.

 

Page 213: Women bond face-to-face, whereas men bond side by side. Masculine friendships form while guys are doing something else. Like trying to beat each other to the hoop. Or fishing. Or working on cars. 

 

This made me think of one of the teacher training scenarios I had about dealing with difficult students. Work side by side with them rather than facing them. It's easier for students who are struggling (or have a hard time with authority figures) to communicate side by side. Good to remember!

 

Page 220: There seem to be fewer "Jesus is my boyfriend" songs being sung in church these days.

 

This made me giggle, but I understand what he's saying. Again, this book was written in 2005 and revised in 2011, so it's kind of old. But some of his points make perfect sense. 

 

Page 221: The changes at Grace Methodist were immediate. First, Jenn adjusted her language. "As I write liturgy and prayers and sermons, I'm thinking, How would a guy like a bricklayer, a farmer, a mechanic, or a line worker hear this?" She began using more masculine metaphors and illustrations that males could relate to.

 

This example at the end of the book heartened me. Earlier in the book, he basically said that there shouldn't be women pastors. But then he writes about Rev. Dr. Jennifer Wilson and her experience at her church in LaSalle, Illinois. Very cool way to end the book. 

 

I'm ready to donate this, but I'd love to find someone for whom this is the right book at the right time . . .