By: Sharon Mondragón
Hennepin County Library paperback 275 plus acknowledgements
Published: 2024
Genre: Christian fiction
I love this author! She has written another wonderful book. This one deals with the stresses of caregiving for loved ones with Alzheimers as well as the joy of knitting and crocheting for those caregivers.
We first met Rose and her knitting friends in The Unlikely Yarn of the Dragon Lady. We don't see much of Fran, Margaret, or Jane in this book. Instead, along with Rose at the Fair Meadows Retirement Community, we have:
Jenny - flirty life of the party
Edna - crabby crocheter
Sarah - hyper-focused on health and germs
Laura - teacher
Mr. Alistair Peabody - learning to knit, flirty
Gus - driver for FMRC, heading to med school
Then we have Sam Talbot, faithfully visiting his wife in memory care even though she doesn't know him any more and even starts to be afraid of him. Nan goes to visit her mom and brings along Tara (sulky teenager) and Samantha (enthusiastic but careless knitter). All these (and more) wonderful characters bring the story to life. It took me a few chapters to get into it, but then I devoured the book.
Page 45: "Nan had learned to be 'quick to listen and slow to speak' with Tara, the quieter and more private of her girls. She waited for Tara to find the words to explain."
I really enjoyed the character arcs for both Nan and her daughter Tara. I love that there was tension, but also resolution. I loved that Nan referenced Scripture in dealing with parenting issues! It was so hard for Tara to have Grandma Becca not know her any more . . .
Page 61: "Fran regarded Margaret across the table. 'Margaret, Ed has been gone almost two years. I'll never quite get over it, but it's time for me to go on with my life. I've seen how fleeting life can be and how it can be cut short in an instant. I intend to live whatever time is ahead of me to the fullest.'"
This was a scene at Hope of Glory. Margaret was nagging about Fran dating Howard. I love Fran's response!
Page 92: "Laura's face was bright with cheerful excitement. Rose thought she must have looked like this often during her career as a high school English teacher. It was clear she was happy to be teaching again."
Even though Laura was not able to successfully teach Sam to knit, I love how energized she was by trying. How fun that Edna was able to get him to crochet instead. There's something powerful about teaching others with joy.
Page 97: "'I wish I didn't have to go at all,' Tara burst out, 'I'd rather remember her the way she was when I was little, before she got sick.'
'You'll always have those memories.' Rose's voice was gentle. 'But these memories are important, too.'
Tara struggled against tears again. 'No, they're not. They're horrible.'
'Trust me, Tara,' Rose said. 'In the years to come, you'll be glad you made memories with her for as long as you could.'"
Oh, the heartbreak and struggle of losing someone to memory loss while they are still alive! I think the author handled the emotions and challenges extremely well.
Page 103: "'She could spend her Christmas money on any of the myriad things teenagers want. But she's buying yarn to make a shawl to give away.'"
Laura gets teary after Tara expresses her plan to use her money to buy yarn to make a prayer shawl. Susan naturally thinks Laura is getting sick! I agree with Laura - it is touching to see a young person behave selflessly. What a blessing!
Page 107: "Yes, there was Dorothy, chatting away with her tablemates, living in the moment. Life is so much simpler for them, he thought. No past, no missing the way things used to be. No future, no worrying about what might happen. That fell to other people, to their caregivers. For Dorothy, there was only now. A now without him in it."
If there's a bright side to dementia, it is this sense of a simpler life. But that compounds the heartaches for the family members, like Sam. Caregiving is hard!
Page 129: "'It's become much more about the people than the place,' Rose said."
Rose has shown Jenny the Prayer Chapel and Jenny falls in love with the beautiful, peaceful space. Rose understands her attraction to it and the necessity of getting out of one's comfort zone. Other people coming to know the Lord is more important than the comfort and peace of the knitters.
Page 138: "'Simply ask God to help him,' Rose said. 'We don't need to know what's wrong to do that.'"
So true! We can pray for people without having the details of their situation. God knows what they need!
Page 146: "Father God, we ask you to remember all those who have loved ones who do not remember them . . . In the embrace of these shawls, may they be strengthened, encouraged, loved, and known."
The shawl maker's prayer was repeated a few times in the book, but I only marked this one. I like that different people prayed (this time was Alistair Peabody) and that he added the names of specific people who were on the Woolgatherers' radar.
Page 157: "Jenny was uncharacteristically quiet on the way back to Fair Meadows. Praying for caregivers in general was one thing, but telling Amy to her face that she'd pray about her relationship with Bryson was another. She realized she now had a stake in how things turned out for the little family. It mattered whether she prayed for them or not."
I love how being a part of this group helped changed Jenny's personal outlook and habits. And yes, offering to pray for someone is a responsibility. But a good one!
Page 205: "'Old people falling in love?' Donna frowned. 'They meet-cute by crashing their walkers together?'"
This line made me laugh! The book club is discussing a romance novel and someone opines that the protagonists are always young people. A discussion of what a romance novel about older people would be like ensues . . .
Page 208: "She never liked to think past the fairy-tale parts of her marriages. That's why she loved reading all those books about the beginnings of love. She could live in the rosy possibility of happily-ever-after and not remember what happened when the realities of life set in."
Jenny's flippant "fun" personality is rooted in this discrepancy between what she wants life to be like and what she has actually experienced. I'm so glad Louie and I have worked our way through the fairy tale parts (including dragons and battles) and are currently living our happy ever after!
Page 213: "He stopped at his favorite fast-food restaurant on the way home, ordering fries and onion rings to go with his double cheeseburger. Since it was abundantly clear he was nothing but the Fat Man, he might as well enjoy it."
Oh, Sam! I recognize this self-destructive behavior. I'm very familiar with this attitude (sadly).
Page 243: "Josh nodded. 'You're right. We should have been here more, for the both of them. Yeah, it was awful to see Mom like that, but we should have braved it for Dad's sake. We should have come to spend time with him. Hard to think of your parents needing you.'"
When Sam collapses with double pneumonia and the flu, it's the Woolgatherers who come to the rescue. His two adult sons have been preoccupied with their own lives and that last statement hit home for me. I was able to help my parents toward the end of their lives, but it made me sad that they needed me so much. It was hard on my 50th birthday to not have parents in my life any more.
Page 277 (Acknowledgements): "All who have shared their journey of caring for a loved one iwth dementia with me, either in person or through books and articles. I hope so much that you feel seen and loved in the pages of this book."
She is a wonderful author! I've really enjoyed all three of her books and I sincerely hope she writes more!
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