By: Arshay Cooper
Hennepin County Library hardcover 228 pages
Published: 2015
Genre: Memoir
I'm not sure where I first heard about this book, but it was so interesting! Arshay Cooper was growing up on the west side of Chicago in a crime-ridden neighborhood and a broken family.
Page 2: There were no pictures of me from before the age of thirteen; drugs took them. There were no memories of kisses good night or the smell of breakfast in the morning; rock cocaine's to blame. There were no good grades, no junior high sweethearts, no ability to be popular at school, and no sense of belonging, thanks to alcohol abuse. These were not my addictions, but my mother's, and bitterness was stamped on the tablet of my heart.
His writing is so expressive and I'm thankful that the bitterness he mentions here didn't stay with him.
Page 9: The weird thing is that sometimes my siblings will pray, sometimes they won't, but you can always tell one from the other. The sibling who prays always feels good afterward and minds their own business.
I love that his mom's life was changed through her faith and that her children's lives were also changed. His observation about prayer and how it affects his siblings is on point.
Page 25: "I am pretty sure putting a group of black kids from our hood inside a boat to race white people is a setup for disaster."
For some reason, this made me laugh out loud.
Page 38: Hip-hop and R & B are what we breathe, think, and dream. It even controls our decision making at times. If I am listening to Ginuwine, I want to kiss somebody. If it's Do or Die, I'm looking to smoke. Montell Jordan has me ready to sneak out my window to party, and if it's Kirk Franklin, we are praying.
His observations about music and mood are interesting.
Page 44: It takes a village to raise a child, and our village is gang members, drug dealers, drug addicts, and prostitutes. It's easy to become a product of this, but I feel like the coaches are using rowing to get us into college and to change our village.
It's amazing to me that children grow up in environments like this. I don't think many make it out of this village intact.
Page 46: "True, it would be gravy to live in a place where you don't have to watch every shadow. I need a life road map or something on how to get here. Nobody in my family has ever gone to college. Teachers try to help, but they're busy breaking up fights and teaching us how to survive."
The adults who came into Arshay's school and life made such an impact on him - through rowing, mentoring, and investing time.
Page 84: Ken was right; it's not all about athletic abilities but work ethic. What you put in is what you get out.
Work ethic! It seems to be from a bygone era.
Page 103: Running up the school stairs comes easy for me these days. Being in shape makes you feel alive and mentally well-balanced.
It's amazing how regular workouts can make a difference. (grin)
Page 109:There is vibrant energy throughout the school, as if one of our teams just won a championship. I notice that when the teachers and staff are excited, the mood of the whole school changes. It's rare to see all the teachers so happy all at once.
This makes me think of when I read the book If You Don't Feed the Teachers, They Eat the Students. It basically deals with the importance of good morale for teachers. It makes life better for the students!
Page 122: When we get to the car there are apples and fruit bars. I had never eaten anything healthy until I started rowing and it feels great. The healthy food makes me feel light on my feet. My mind is always clear now and I swear I'm less lazy.
The impact of eating healthy was noticeable to Arshay.
Page 135: "How did you get to where you are today?" I want to say church. "Ken, I learned from TV what is missing in my life: a trusted teacher, a father figure, a mentor, friends that are positive and loyal. I decided to seek those missing pieces because they aren't necessarily around me. I joined a team of brothers, I go to church on my own time to hang with positive influences, and I hang around you."
There are a couple of different times where he references the TV shows that truly shaped his attitude toward life. (earlier he said "I really believe that people don't understand how much I learned form watching Family Matters, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and A Different World.")
Page 138-9: "When you're in a tunnel you can only go one way. When you're in school, think about school. When you're with Grace, think about Grace. When you're rowing, think about rowing."
"Wow. That helps, because my mind is always all over the place."
Poor Arshay! This kind of focus and dedication doesn't come naturally for a teenage boy!
Page 145: "Don't ever talk back to the cops," Jeni warns us, "especially as young black men. Don't be intimidated, but be smart and do what they say. You won't win. That's a rule."
This was so hard to think about. A white woman advising these incredible young men about how to stay safe when interacting with police officers.
Page 146: Amidst this chaos on the West Side, I have never sold drugs, punched, shot, or disrespected anyone in any way. I mean, I haven't even broken a plate, and I still had my face pressed down on a police car numerous times. It's not fun when they stick their hands down your pants, looking for drugs. Once, when an officer took my backpack and flipped it upside down and made me pick my books up, I had so much on my mind. I wanted to tell the cop that I recited the preamble to the United States Constitution in front of my whole class with pride.
When people deny white privilege, I wonder if their white sons have ever had this type of experience. My sons have never had this happen to them.
Page 154: As we walk away, it occurs to me what we've been missing. I think the problem is that we don't talk more about personal goals on the team; we're just going day by day.
It's pretty easy to just go day by day in life.
Page 165: I knew Ken was being criticized for trying to turn us white, but he is just giving us access to something new and trying to diversify the sport. I don't know why the world is so complicated. Now I understand what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. meant when he said, "I just want to do God's will" out of frustration.
The world is complicated and frustrating.
Page 169: I find myself in the corn fields of Iowa, surrounded by nothing familiar. This state has horror-movie potential. It's dark, and the cabins we drive past are creepy; now I am just waiting to see a scarecrow.
This also made me laugh!
Page 184: The power of speaking the right words to a young person can do something magical. I feel unstoppable.
I love when Marc, the rowing coach, gives Arshay a pep talk and tells him he believes in him.
Page 187: Alvin told me he thinks they both decided to get wealthy just so they had more to give. I admire their choice to live a selfless life because I've grown up around takers all my life.
I love the idea that Ken and Jeni used their wealth to make a difference in the world!
I also love that Arshay Cooper became a writer and a motivational speaker. He has an incredible story to tell.